He Was Gone
by Aeawenlluin
Summary: Set after Edward Leaves NM . Bella finds a purpose to her life & 3 years later is a detective on a special police team. But danger waits around the corner. Sorry I'm no good at summeries! BxE Please read and review be gentle as it's my first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Set after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Three years later and Bella found something worthwhile to do with her broken life. She is a Detective working on a specialist Team. But danger lurks behind a corner.

**I Do Not own any characters, they belong to the wonderful S Meyer. I have rated this an M because I am very very paranoid. Please review this all opinions welcome. Lastly apologies for any mistakes but is my first fanfic and I'm nervous! :-)**

** Chapter One; and He Was Gone.**

I stood there alone until the sky turned black and I lost all sense of time. I heard voices calling my name but I could not turn. I could not look away from the place where he had stood, while he took my world away with those five words. "_You're not good for me_". I never knew mere words could tear my soul apart.

He was gone, they were gone. And without him my world crumbled and fell into emptiness and oblivion.

The voices grew louder, but I could not turn. My eyes held onto the memory of his face as tears began to drown them. My lungs fought to suck in the oxygen they needed as my body began to give way to the panic in my heart.

I felt strong, warm, arms wrap around me and as they lifted me from the ground I did not resist. My eyes were torn from the spot they had been rooted to and suddenly I couldn't breathe as the pain engulfed me, I could not cry out against the wave of terror. He was gone and I would never see him again. Just as he had promised "_it will be like I never existed_", it already felt that way, the pain of him leaving was torture but the thought that he had not existed, Words could never describe how that felt.

I felt movement and knew I was being carried, I did not care where to or who by, I kept my eyes shut as the hysteria shook my body. The strong, warm arms lay me gently on a soft bed and a voice whispered words I could not understand. A second, more familiar voice called my name, the voice was a concerned Charlie. I kept my eyes closed against his voice, the voices retreated and I was left alone.

When I opened my eyes the sun was breaking across the morning sky. As I lay unmoving on the bed, with know idea how much time had passed, the sun shifted across the sky and sank back into the earth. Light gave way to another night and still I lay unmoving. I heard the door of my bedroom open, I closed my eyes again, and the door quietly closed. I heard the sound of Charlie's footsteps receding down the stairs, leaving me once more to ravages of my bleeding heart. He was gone. I fell into the darkness and I drowned in it.

The days passed in a monotonous blur. I got up, I went to school, I went to work, I came home. The Nights passed more slowly, intent on torturing me. His face swam before my eyes and his voice whispered sweetly in my ears until I would fall into a fitful sleep. I drifted from nightmare to nightmare, where he was just out of reach. I would wake screaming and thrashing, panicked and disorientated. Charlie would rush in and desperately try to soothe me, to explain it would get better soon. It didn't. I couldn't heal. I couldn't live. He was gone. Month's passed, Christmas came and went. I still couldn't live, but I did exist. As January drew to a close Charlie finally snapped.

"_Bella, I can't stand this any longer. Bell's please, please. Damn it you have to snap out of this!_" Charlie had begged, frustration creeping into his words.

I felt a distant twinge of guilt, Charlie didn't deserve this. "_I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dad_" I realised my voice sounded remote and waif like.

"_I think you should stay with Renee, go and live with her in Jacksonville. It's sunny and warm... perhaps you would be happier there. I mean… I would miss you like hell Bella but kid this can't go on..._" Charlie carried on.

I started to feel panicked then, I couldn't leave, I had to hold on to something. I had to know he was real. "_No! I will try, I will go out... I can't leave, please Dad...I'll go see Jake, go out with the girls, I'll be better. Please let me stay._"

I needed Forks. Charlie sat heavily at the table, he seemed lost in thought. I noticed the kitchen clock ticking I watched as the second hand made its way around the face over and over. I realised it was ticking the remainder of my life away, second by second, hour by hour. Charlie needed me, for that alone I had to do more than just exist.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again I own nothing it's all S Meyer's and thank you to Fallunder for my very first Review!!!!**

**Chapter Two: For Charlie**

"_Bella?_"

"_Dad?_"

"_I've been thinking, you know I go to Billy's every Friday evening...I want you to come with me... spend some time with us and with Jacob, you always seemed to like Jacob. You could hang out with him when Billy and I go fishing. Spend some time around people Bella. Please._" Charlie sounded uncertain. I knew I had to give it a go, for Charlie.

"_Sure Dad, that would be nice, and I could... um... call Jessica, maybe on Saturday we could go catch a movie_." I tried to inject some life in my monotone voice. It seemed to work.

"_Thanks Bell's. I understand the pain... when your mother left me... well... I didn't do to well but it got better with time, life becomes liveable again. You just gotta keep going 'cause hiding away inside yourself won't make it less painful_" Charlie stared intensely at me before sighing.

"_Besides it will do you good to get out and see your friends_" Charlie enthused.

I dutifully called Jessica and found that the conversation wasn't as difficult as I had feared. Jessica quickly got over her annoyance with me for the months of being a zombie. We arranged a shopping trip in the end as nothing of interest was on at the cinema. Angela was going to meet us at Jessica's favourite cafe in town; we would have lunch then spend the afternoon shopping. I wasn't looking forward to our trip, I wasn't fond of shopping, but Charlie had seemed so relieved I knew I had to make an effort.

The school week passed too quickly despite my time at work dragging, by the time I arrived home on Friday afternoon I was having trouble controlling my breathing at the thought of an afternoon shopping. I had to try for Charlie's sake, so I rummaged through the kitchen cupboards for something good to cook for dinner. I ended up cooking a steak & Kidney pie with vegetables. It was a start, and Charlie would see that I was really making an effort to be normal again. After dinner Charlie and I headed up to La Push, as always it was raining. Jacob was waiting impatiently outside for us. As soon as I stepped out of the truck his arms snatched me up in a bear hug so tight I could barely suck in a breath. Charlie grinned at Jake before grabbing a crate of beer from the truck.

"_Ow! Need to breathe Jake!_" I spluttered.

"_Sorry, it's just good to see you_" Jake grinned at me, his deep brown eyes twinkling as his smile threatened to split his face in half. I had suddenly felt a strange sensation on my face and realised I was returning his grin.

"_Ah Jake_" I teased. "_I missed you too_." I followed Charlie and Jake into the warm dry shelter that Billy's home offered. We sat down in Billy's living room, Charlie and Billy opening a can of beer each. Jake passed me a can of coke and sat down next to me.

"_How are you Bella? I mean how are you really... you seem... soughta lost_" Jake had whispered softly. Charlie and Billy were now absorbed with something on the television.

"_I... I guess I am lost, I think I will be for a long time Jake. Maybe broken is a better word._" I whispered bleakly back my eyes resting on my worn down nails, I had to stop chewing them.

"_Come with me... it's not raining now, we can talk better outside... If you want that is?_" Jake's eyes were filled with concern.

"_Yeah sure..._" I replied as I got to my feet my voice still sounded lifeless. I guess it couldn't hurt to let someone in.

"_Dad... am just going out. I want to show Bella the Rabbit seen as it's nearly finished_" Jake called to his father.

"_Ok son, don't let Bella get cold though_." Billy warned without taking his eyes from the game on the television.

"_Bella, you have a rain coat in the truck just in case the rain starts up again_" Charlie added, he to without taking his eyes off the television.

"_Yes Dad, see you later_" I smiled softly at the back of his head. I did this for him, normal Bella.

Jake rolled his eyes, shook his head and headed out the door. "_Come on Isabella!_" Jake called.

"_I hate that._" I muttered as I joined him outside.

"_Yep, I know..._" Jake giggled. I found myself giggling with him. I stopped abruptly, shocked. Then I giggled some more. By the time we entered Jake's workshop I had gone from giggling to full blown hysterics to sobbing into Jake's shoulder. My tears flowed freely over my cheeks as the pain wracked my body and my lungs dragged in desperate gulps of air.

"_Shhh... it's ok_" Jake soothed as he wound his warm arms around me, holding me up and rubbing my back. "_It's ok._"

We stood together for what seemed like hours, me wrapped in Jake's comforting arms. My tears slowly stopped, leaving my eyes feeling dry and sore. I knew I looked terrible anyway but I hoped Charlie wouldn't know that I had been crying.

"_I'm... I'm sorry Jake, I didn't mean to..._" I sobbed, struggling to get a hold of myself. It felt strange to be wrapped in warm arms. I missed the hard cold ones that used to hold me.

"_Bella, you have to let it out, it will drive you insane if you keep it inside._" Jake whispered.

"_Thanks._" I muttered embarrassed as I leaned against him. I felt empty but the pain had eased a little.

I took a deep breath and tried to smile up at Jake, to show him I was ok. He didn't buy it and shook his head slowly with a small sad smile resting on his lips. He kept murmuring soft words to me, trying to ease my pain.

After another few minutes we started talking, we covered our best and worst subjects at school. I loved English, as it gave me a chance to forget about my own life and bury myself in a book. Biology was the worst, though I liked the subject and found it easy enough to do. It reminded me of him, of my first day. His black eyes burned into me. I felt the pain twist my stomach.

Then Jake started talking, his voice low and warm telling me how he liked school in general, and the pain eased a little. Jake didn't have a favourite class but said he could skip Physics any day. Apparently his teacher's voice made him feel sleepy. I laughed at that. I was shocked at how easily the pain faded when Jake was there.

We then talked about Charlie and Billy's obsessions with fishing and Baseball. We laughed together at how competitive they got over their shared passions. And how soon Jake's Rabbit would be up and running, which he also insisted was gonna be the best car on the Reservation. I felt warm and almost alive again, Jake did that and he made it seem so easy.


	3. Chapter 3

**I of course own nothing it's all S Meyer's **

** Chapter Three: of Wolves and Vampires**

As we stood in Jake's workshop talking comfortably with one another, we heard a wolf howl in the distance, in that instant Jake's body tensed and his arms tightened around me. His eyes became wary and alert, like he was waiting. Puzzled by his reaction, I almost held my breath as I waited with him.

"_JAKE!_" a deep familiar voice called urgently "_JAKE!_"

"_Stay here Bella, I'll be back in a minute_" Jake spoke quickly before stepping outside. I followed to the door, straining my ears to catch the hushed voices outside.

"_Did you see anything, hear anything... at all?_" the worried voice asked.

"_No nothing... what is it Sam? What did you find? Where's the rest of the pack?_" Jake rushed his words.

He sounded concerned. I felt uneasy, I could tell something was wrong. And what or who was the '_Pack_'? I didn't understand this so I listened harder.

"_Bloodsucker... female, she keeps jumping the border. She's not a Cullen._" Sam answered.

My breath caught against my throat at the sound of their name as hot tears filled my eyes. I blinked fiercely to clear my vision. Another Vampire, but not a ... Cullen. I wondered who this stray vampire was and an ice cold trickle of fear ran down my spine. My heart stuttered then began to race.

"_Is it hunting here? You sure it's not one of them Sam?_" Jake demanded.

"_Yes she's hunting here and yes I'm sure she's no Cullen. They are long gone and they never crossed our border, it's like she's looking for something, she's fast, seems to know when we are closing in on her... always gets away somehow._" Sam replied darkly.

My racing heart almost stopped, she was hunting here in Forks. I felt sick at thought that this Vampire might kill someone I know. Someone like Charlie or Angela and they wouldn't stand a chance. It dawned on me they were hunting her, this Sam and the Pack whoever they were and I was terrified for them. I had seen her kind fight, how could they match her strength, her speed? Then I remembered she was looking for something... what if... My blood ran icy cold as I realised who she was, why she was here. Oh God. I didn't care what she did to me, no pain could be greater than the one I already felt. But who else would she hurt while trying to find me?

"_She's a very persistent leech, I'll give her that_" complained Sam

"_What does she look like… we need to warn the elders_"

"_I have warned them, She looks savage her clothing is torn and soiled, she's lithe and extremely fast. Her hair is a bright flaming red... and her eyes are crimson so dark they could be black_"

Victoria.

I felt numb. I knew why she was here, she was here for me, for revenge. He had killed James, her mate, now she would kill me for revenge. Though she didn't know that He was gone that he didn't love me that her revenge would not be what she thought it would be. I was endangering them all by being here. I had to tell them.

I stepped outside, they both turned to look at me, I cleared my throat and looked straight into Jake's deep brown chocolate eyes and said "_Jake?.. This... vampire I..._"

"_You know her Bella?_" Jake asked unsure.

"_Her name is Victoria. She is looking for something...Me_" I whispered and felt the terror rip at my insides.

"_Why? Are you sure she wants you?_" Sam questioned while Jake stood still his face filled with confusion, fear and then a black fury.

"_Her mate... James... attacked me. Ed...The Cull..._" I swallowed the pain and took a deep steadying breath then continued.

"_The Cullen's they killed James, I didn't run away last year, I didn't fall down any stairs and there was certainly no window involved. Carlisle and his... family saved my life. She's here for me... revenge for Ed…them killing James. She doesn't know that they have gone._" I felt a single tear spill over my eyelashes and fall slowly down my face. He was gone and I had to face it, he was never coming back. I was alone and soon I would be dead. That didn't bother me so much. I just hoped she wouldn't hurt anyone else trying to get to me.

I jumped as Jake growled out a string of obscenities. As Sam questioned me further, I let my head rest wearily on Jakes chest and his arms wound protectively around me. He held me tight whispering in my ear "I will not let her touch you, I promise you Bella, I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing it is all S Meyer's.

Please please review and let me know what you think x x x

Chapter Four: Guard Dogs

Sam had gone on to explain that he, Jake and a few other's changed into wolves when danger threatened their people, and that usually it was Vampires that triggered this change. They were Werewolves.

It took a few minutes to sink in and then I laughed almost bitterly. How ironic, I fall in love with a vampire who decides he doesn't want me, even after saving my life twice, so he left me. Then I find that Jacob, who is fast becoming my best friend, is actually a werewolf. I was a magnet for all things unearthly and dangerous. I sighed mentally wondering what else was in store for me.

Jake and I waited impatiently while Sam ran back into the forest to tell the pack about Victoria. Jake and I stood silently together for a few minutes. Then Jake turned to me his eyes serious, "_We won't let her hurt you, you know, we will catch her, it's our job to._" Jake then laughed quietly.

"_I'll be your guard dog!_" He smiled proudly at me.

"_Jake, please this is serious; I don't want you to get hurt. Not for me, I'm not worth your life or the lives of your friends_" I didn't want anyone to risk their life for mine. Especially Jake, he was too young, too full of life to risk it for me.

"_Bella, we protect our people and anyone that we can against these leeches, we are totally capable of destroying her. And we will. Trust me._" Jake said seriously then after a pause he whispered softly "_you are worth it Bell's_".

When Sam returned he and Jake told me about the pack, that Sam had changed first, then Paul, Embry and Jake had followed with Quill being the latest to change. They all hoped he would be the last.

Sam told me it would be best to spend as much time on the reservation as possible and persuade Charlie to spend more time here to. I knew with Charlie's obsession for fishing that it would not be too difficult to convince him to spend more time at La Push with Billy. Jake and Sam agreed La Push was the safest place for me until they had gotten rid of Victoria. They decided that the pack would take shifts watching Charlie's place when we couldn't be at Billy's. I then remembered about the shopping trip the following day, I told Sam and Jake the plan was to have lunch then shop in the afternoon, Jake volunteered to keep an eye on me while I was out.

I lay awake that night every sound outside made me jump. I looked out of my window and saw the long shadow of a wolf slink across the back yard. I felt safer after that though I was afraid for Jacob, Sam and the rest of the Pack.

My thoughts turned to him, did he know Victoria would hunt me? Did he care? I felt the black hole widen in my chest. Why would he care, I was just a human and he'd grown bored of toying with me. I cried bitter tears into my pillow, trying to silence the sobs that began to wrack my body.

Though my tears had left my eyes swollen and sore and a dull throbbing in my head, sleep eluded me for the remaining hours of darkness. I finally drifted to sleep as the sun came up. Despite the sunlight creeping in through the chinks in my curtains, my dreams were dark and painful. I know longer saw his face, I was lost in the dark trying to follow his distant laughter. He was mocking me, asking why I would be so foolish to think he could ever have cared for me. Weak and stupid human. I woke up cold and clammy my heart racing as more tears spilt from my swollen eyes. I lay awake after that, afraid to shut my eyes again.

I finally got up a few hours later and got showered and dressed. I rarely wore make up but this time I used what I could to hide my red rimmed eyes and the black shadows underneath them. It seemed to work as Charlie appeared not to notice. I spent the rest of the morning doing chores about the house waiting for the clock to get to twelve.

Jessica picked me up just after midday. It was awkward at first but a few well placed questions and she talked for the rest of the way to town leaving my mind free to wander. We settled down at a table in Denny's cafe and while we waited for Angela, Jessica brought up the subject of boy's or rather a certain member of the... Cullen family. It even hurt to think their name. Thankfully Angela arrived a few minutes later and the conversation moved on to less painful subjects.

We ate and talked, or rather Jessica talked while Angela and I ate our lunch. We spent the rest of the afternoon flitting in and out of a variety of shops. I found myself smiling without thinking about it. The sun crept across the sky and dusk arrived suddenly finding us all tired out and weighed down with more shopping than we had intended. Angela came home with Jessica and I as her mother had brought her earlier. We chatted to one another on the way and I felt almost comfortable. It had been easier than I had expected to do something so 'normal' but the closer we got to home the more empty I felt.

They dropped me off first and as I said goodbye to them I noticed Jake heading in my direction. I couldn't help but smile at him, he was my own personal dose of pain relief. I hurried to the front door, opened it quickly, dropping my bags inside and turned to wave goodbye to Angela and Jessica. As they drove away Jake appeared in front of me with an extremley smug look on his face.

"_Bella... we got her, we got the leech! tore her to shreds!_" Jake picked me up and swung me around grinning.

"_She followed you Bella and was so distracted by watching you she didn't realise we had her surrounded until it was too late! She put up one hell of a fight but she was no match for us in the end...I told you to trust me_" with that Jake set me back on the ground, hugged me tightly to him and said softly "_she can't hurt you now Bella, you're safe now. Though I guess I'm not your guard dog no more._" Jake's face fell slightly at that last thought.

I didn't know how to feel, Victoria was gone. I was safe. I almost thought I was dreaming, but I wasn't, I was safe and I had the Pack to thank for that. Suddenly I had to make sure they were all ok. What if one of them had gotten hurt. No Jake wouldn't be so happy and relaxed if one of them was injured. I took a steadying breath against the panic in my stomach.

"_Was anyone hurt?_" I whispered tearfully, I couldn't bear the thought of ...

"_No-pe, we far out numbered her, I didn't even get a scratch, though Sam did get hurled into a tree...it's ok! Bella calm down he only got a small graze off a broken branch_" Jake replied still grinning and shaking his head at me. I had started to panic when he said Sam had been thrown against a tree! I shuddered at the danger they had been in, but the relief flooded through me that no one was seriously hurt. We were all safe. Once again I owed someone else my life. A warm feeling spread across my chest then, the feeling had become so alien it startled me. I owed the pack my life and somehow I would find a way to repay them.

"_Thank you, Jake. You will thank them all for me, won't you? ._" I asked quietly. "_I don't know how to repay you all but I will someday_."

"_You can thank them your self on Friday when you and Charlie come to watch the Game_" Jake reminded me and I realised I was looking forward to Friday. Being around Jake made it easier, he distracted me.

"_I have to get back though; wanna get the Rabbit running by Friday! Then you can be the very first passenger_" Jake looked excited.

I smiled indulgently "_til Friday then._"

I hugged him again and went inside as Jake called back over his shoulder "_see you Bell's._"

As soon as I shut the door behind me though the crushing black emptiness in my chest returned. Yes Jake made it easier when he was there, but as soon as he was gone the pain returned. The nights continued their slow bittersweet torture, by showing me again what I could never hope to have.


	5. Chapter 5

as usual I own nothing it's all S Meyer's.

Please please review, good or bad let me know what you think. Thanks

**Chapter Five: Fire**

Over the next few weeks Jake and I grew closer, he was my best friend though I suspected he felt more than that. He filled the empty space in my chest for a time and made life liveable again.

Jake had finished working on the Rabbit and we spent a lot of weekends driving about when I wasn't in work and when we weren't working on our latest secret project. Motorbikes. We found two bikes at the dump and Jake was trying to get them fixed up, though this was taking longer than he thought it would.

Every Friday Charlie and I stayed at Billy's. While Charlie and Billy went fishing or sat watching sport, Jake and I hung out, we even went cliff diving despite the ice cold wind and rain. The sea was rough and freezing but the rush of jumping was addictive. Every time I jumped of the cliff I could see his face, I heard his angry voice telling me I was reckless. I jumped more often, each time listening for his voice. I wanted to be reckless; I wanted to believe that he would have cared enough to be angry that I did something dangerous just for the hell of it. But it wasn't dangerous not with Jake there, strong as he was I was always safe with him. I had hoped that Jake could fix the bikes, thinking I could listen to his voice when we rode them.

Before we knew it winter gave way to spring and spring melted into summer. Jake was still working on the bikes but studying became more important and we had to save up for the parts we needed.

I began to miss his voice when Jake and I less time to go cliff diving. The pain in my chest was still there, by day I was normal Bella, with Jake I lived again. But the nights still tortured me. With no distractions my mind automatically thought of him and the panic would begin. I would struggle to breath. When I finally fell asleep the nightmares would start and I would wake up screaming. Charlie had grown used to my nightmares and no longer rushed in. Though I knew he didn't love me anymore, and though he was gone, I still needed him.

June sprang from nowhere and suddenly I had exams to get through, I saw less of Jake while I spent every weekend studying. The nights became unbearable. But I found the exams much easier than I had expected and despite everything I felt I had done well on them. Time flew by and soon our last exam approached.

Stress levels rose and several students fainted on their way in to the examination rooms. Jessica and Angela being two of them. Mike Newton threw up on one exam paper and had to start again. Tyler Crawley managed to fall asleep in the Maths exam, subsequently fell off his chair and onto his face resulting in a broken nose. In the same exam another boy had trouble controling his bowls and had to run to the toilet several times. Rumor had it his ex girlfriend had slipped him a laxitive in revenge for him dumping her for her best friend. Stangely enough, or I suppose unluckily, the left handed, now ex best friend accidentally tripped in a busy school corridor and broke her left hand two days before the exams started. I was inclined to side with the ex girlfriend as revenged had a satisfying feeling to it. I had tried to be angry with him, being angry kept the pain at bay for a short while as I toyed with idea's of revenge. But soon realised it never made any sense for him to want me in the first place, he deserved much more than me so I had no right to revenge.

As soon as the last exam had finished we were all allowed to leave school early. With little else to do for a few hours, I found myself thinking again of the future. I had no desire for a career, I knew falling in love and getting married was out. I only wanted him. I would never have my own children, I had accepted that when I realised I was irrevocably in love with a Vampire. Vampires couldn't have children. I sighed and breathed deeply trying to ease the pain my thoughts had brought on.

I drove back home, showered and changed, made Charlie's dinner and put it in the fridge. I left him a note with precise instructions on heating up his dinner and where I would be for the next few hours, then I jumped in my truck and headed out to La Push. I revisited my thoughts on the way to La Push, I wouldn't have the life I so desperately wanted but I could still do something worthwhile. I could use my life to do some good, help people. But what? I couldn't be a Doctor or Nurse. A bitter laugh escaped my lips as I thought about how much I hated blood. I thought about Charlie then and like a lighter to fuel an idea burned in my mind.

A Police Officer, like Charlie, they protect people, they help people. Keep the streets safe. Could I do that? I wanted to, I needed to be the protector instead of the victim for once. The idea gained momentum in my head as I pulled onto the Reservation and parked up outside Jake and Billy's place.

"_Bella! ... Hey_" Jake ran over to me as I climbed out of my truck. "_I missed you, how'd the exams go? Have you finished now?_" Jake asked as he hugged me tightly to him.

"_I missed you too, had my last exam today and have now got a whole summer to decide whether or not to go to college or get a proper job. Though for now I thought I'd hang out with you. You finish for the summer soon don't you?_" I hoped he finished soon I didn't want to spend too much time alone, plus I had an idea I knew Jake would love, well laugh at more likely.

"_Another week and I'm all yours for the summer Bells_" Jake teased. Jake and I spent a few minutes chatting over our exams, Jake was glad his would be over soon but was worried about getting bored over the summer.

"_Well... how do you feel about a little project? To keep us busy? I need your help with something_" I asked with what I hoped was a mysterious look on my face.

"_A project? ... Spill then_" Jake said impatiently as I paused.

"_I want to learn to... well to..._" I started unsure how Jake would react.

"_Aw come on Bella the suspense is killing me_" Jake grinned.

"_I want to learn to fight you see I want to...join... hey! What's so funny?!_" Jake was now laughing so much that tears were streaming down his face.

"_Oh Bella you're a hoot! Why on earth do you want to learn to fight, oh the idea is absurd... you fighting!_" with that he was laughing hysterically again.

I waited patiently for his laughter to subside before speaking again.

"_Jake, I want to be able to defend myself and I want you to teach me. I was thinking of following Charlie into the Police... I'm serious. Will you help me...? Please_" I waited for him to start laughing at me again. He didn't.

"_Bella, I will teach you of course I will but... are you sure about joining the police. It can be dangerous... I don't want you to get hurt._" Jake was serious now and I knew it was because he had taken on the role of my protector. But I needed to know where I was heading. I didn't care about my own life so much, but at least I could use what was left of it to help others. As a Police Officer I could help a lot of people.

"_I'm sure Jake, anyhow you can't protect me forever, and I want to make the world a little bit safer. I mean ok I can't fight off Vampires or anything else supernatural out there. But I can learn to fight criminals._" I said and for the first time in month's I felt a passion stir in my voice, Jake seemed to notice it too and he smiled gently at me.

"_Ok Bella, I will help you, but you're wrong you know... I can and will protect you, forever if you need me to._" Jake looked at me, his warm brown eyes suddenly intense.

"_Jake you know... you know I love you as a friend... don't you_" I stuttered, he had given me that look a few times lately and it made me uneasy. I wasn't ready, never would be ready to think about loving another the way I had loved...

"_I know Bella, I understand. But I can't help it, I love you. Maybe I'm in love with you I don't know. I know you're not ready for that, I know you might never get over what he did to you. But I just feel so strongly about you, I feel the need to protect you. I will always be here for you even if you only ever want my friendship._" Jake spoke softly his eye's never leaving mine.

I didn't know what to say, someone else had once said something similar but he was gone now. Jake grinned at me and started to talk about different ways of fighting, and a couple of minutes later things felt back to normal. Jake started teaching me how to gain a better sense of balance, god knows I needed it. Apparently balance was essential to fighting, according to Jake that is. I suspected he just wanted to laugh at my lack of coordination. I did improve though, after a few hours and lots of bumps to various parts of my body.

We headed back to Billy's to find him and Charlie sat engrossed in a game, apparently it was some major final and even Jake sat down to watch. I gave up trying to follow the game after ten minutes and told them I was going to stretch my legs outside for a bit. The only response I got was three simultaneous grunts.

I headed out the back door, the air was warm and thick, and the sun was beginning to set. It was so quiet that all I could hear were the crickets in the long grass and the distant voices of children playing somewhere on the reservation. I felt different, somehow the idea of joining the Police had really taken root. I needed to help people; I had to do something to fill the gapping holes in my life. I couldn't have the love I so badly missed, but it didn't mean I could not have some kind of existence. Some kind of Life even.

I wandered down the dirt path past other homes, wrapped in my thoughts until I began to feel uneasy. I paused; I could smell smoke, and not the smell I associated with a camp fire but a sharp acrid flavour that seemed to taint the air. I increased my pace and rounded a bend in the path, and then I saw it, thick black smoke rising through the trees. It came from the end of the dirt path, from the small house that was hidden in the trees. I knew the home belonged to Sam and his fiancée Emily though I had only been there once. I began to run as fast as my legs would go. As I cleared the trees the smoke became thicker, invading my lungs. The small mainly wooden house was engulfed in flames. I began to shout, to scream, hoping someone somewhere would hear me. Someone did, I heard a shout in response calling for others to help.

I didn't know what to do. I thought about running back to Jake and getting his help but then I heard a woman's scream rise out of the flames and I unconsciously started to run towards the burning house. I panicked, Emily must be in there, it was her scream and I knew I had to do something. I didn't know if help would get here in time. Before I knew it I was dodging the flames as I entered the house. The heat made it feel as though my skin was melting as the air burned down my throat and choked my lungs.

I tried to call to Emily but my voice died in my throat. I struggled through the flames the seconds felt like hours. Through the roar of the fire and the crash of timbers falling, I heard a weak cry and through the smoke I saw Emily huddled on the floor with a bundle in her arms.

"_Emily!_" I forced my voice to call as I made my way to her, dodging the falling debris. I dropped to my knees and crawled towards her, waves of nausea rolled over me, my brain was struggling to get enough oxygen and the heat scorched my skin.

"_Bella? Oh Bella! You'll be trapped with me!_" Emily cried in panic, her eyes were wild with fear as tears poured down her face. I repressed the sudden panic in my stomach and gritted my teeth.

"Emily _if you don't move then we will be trapped; you have to come with me now!_" I tried to yell over the roar of the fire. I could tell that she had heard my words when she tried to move towards me. I fought against my terror and moved towards her.

As I dragged her to her feet I saw a young child in her arms, I took the child from her and guided us back through the flames. The walls seemed to bend and bow around us. The thick smoke was choking my lungs and my head began to swim again. I stumbled to the side as more debris came crashing down around us, Emily cried out in terror and gripped onto the back of my arm as a large piece of timber fell down less than a foot from us. We paused for a second shocked by our near miss then I turned knowing we had to get out before the smoke got to us.

Emily let go of my arm but I kept moving, turning every few steps to check that Emily was still following. I tried to stay calm but my heart just raced even faster. After what seemed to be forever I saw what was left of the front door and as we made our way towards it I heard the desperate voices beyond the flames.

I paused again, taking a moment to ready myself, then threw myself and the child in my arms through the flames. We flew out into the much cooler much fresher air outside. I turned back to the house to see Emily follow me through the flames. My head swan again and the child was lifted from my arms. Then more arms enveloped me as my legs gave way.


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing it all belongs to S Meyer. Please review. **

**Chapter Six: Hero**

"_BELLA! Oh god Bella are you ok... Bella_" Charlie's voice choked out. I looked up to see Charlie and Jake staring at me both their arms holding me on the ground.

"_EMILY!_" Sam's voice almost screamed in the same second as I looked up, the fear in his voice made me twist around to see where she was. Sam had his arms around her smoothing her hair back and kissing every inch of her face. Emily smiled weakly and whispered soft reasuring words to him, though they were to quiet to hear. But I heard Sam whisper almost brokenly to her

"_I thought... I thought I had lost you._" as he buried his head in her hair. A pain shot across my chest as I witnessed the depth of Sam's love for Emily. They could never leave each other. They were one and the same, two halves fitting perfectly together. I envied their love, bitterly wishing his love had been as strong as mine.

I threw my thoughts to one side and suddenly remembered the small child now missing from my arms. I looked around until I spotted her held securely by a shocked looking Quill. He held her tightly to him his eyes closed, his mouth murmuring the words "_oh god, thank you_" over and over.

It seemed as though everyone on the reservation was there, all helping to put out the flames. An ambulance arrived and the EMT's checked all three of us over. They took the child, Megan, straight to the hospital to be monitored, the EMT's suggested that Emily and I be checked over too. A still shocked Quill drove Sam and Emily, while Jake drove Charlie and me.

We spent the next few hours at the hospital before being given the all clear. Megan, who I found out was Quill's little sister, had to stay in overnight just to be safe as she was so young. Emily had been baby sitting her while the pack were out in the forest, she had fallen asleep and had woken to find the house ablaze. Sam and Emily's home would have to be rebuilt once they found the cause of the fire, so in the mean time they would be staying with Quill's family. Jake took Charlie and I home then rushed back to the reservation to help clear up after the fire.

"_Bella?_" Charlie spoke quietly.

"_Yes Dad?_" I looked up at his face to see his eyes filled with tears and his mouth smiling tenderly.

"_...I was so afraid I was going to lose you, but I'm so proud of you Bella. You risked you life to save Emily and Megan…_ "Charlie spoke softly. I felt my face turning red and tears clouded my vision. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, then Charlie cleared his throat to speak again.

"_At the hospital Jake told me you were thinking of becoming a Police Officer?_" Charlie continued he looked so proud. I couldn't speak so I nodded my head.

"_I think you will make a great Police Officer._" Charlie smiled, his eyes twinkling.

"_Thanks Dad, I hope so._" I felt a little embarrassed. Charlie and I rarely did emotions. Charlie pulled me into his arms and hugged me to him for a few seconds before pulling away and grinning at me.

The phone rang then making us both jump. Charlie answered, grinned then passed the phone to me. "_For you Bell's, don't be too long you need to rest._" with that Charlie left the room.

"_Hello?_"

"_Hey Bella... guess who's the hero. Everyone's talking about it. Oh the Fire Brigade came, made sure everything was properly out. Seems the wiring was faulty, not surprising as the house was quite old. Everyone's gonna pitch in and help rebuild it. Oh and Sam and Emily want you to come over tomorrow afternoon, they want to thank you in person!_" Jake seemed to say this in one breath.

"_Er... I er... mmm... ok_. " I stuttered, groaned silently, I was afraid of this. "_I will come over but please Jake no fuss. I acted instinctively._" I asked my cheeks burned bright red at the thought of everyone talking about me.

"_Is little Megan ok?_"

"_Yeah she's doing ok; they will let her out tomorrow morning. She hasn't stopped asking about you, she thinks you're her Fairy Godmother._"

"_Really?... Fairy Godmother?_"

"_Cinderella is her favourite story at the moment. I better go Bells Billy's shouting at me, say's the hero needs her rest. I'll see you tomorrow._"

"_Bye Jake._" I hung up and headed upstairs for a shower, and then I climbed exhausted into bed. I slept through until morning. No nightmares and no screaming. Maybe if I went to bed this exhausted all the time perhaps the nightmares would fade.

Charlie and I went over to La Push the next day, everywhere I went I was hugged by strangers all with warm, grateful smiles. My face burned red for most of the day. Sam and Emily's thank you was quiet but the power of their emotion overwhelmed me and all three of us ended up in tears. We celebrated Emily and Megan's survival all afternoon with a barbeque, a campfire and lots of water fights. I almost forgot my pain that day.

The next few weeks I spent over at La Push hanging out with Jake, the wolf pack, Emily and Megan. Megan followed me everywhere for the first week, and I loved spending time playing together on the beach. I found myself hoping I might have a daughter of my own one day. I pushed my hope aside as quickly as it had sprung up. I would never love another so I doubted I would ever have a family of my own. I blocked the sudden wave of pain as I pictured myself holding a baby with messy bronze hair.

Sam and Emily tied the knot a couple of months later in a quiet ceremony on the beach; I got to be the chief bridesmaid and only tripped over once. It was becoming easier to watch other couples in love but it still tore at the hole in my heart. Emily and I had grown close since the fire, and like Jacob I grew to love her. I felt like I had gained another family, Emily became like a sister, and I had realised that I loved Jake like a brother. He had seemed happy with that when I explained how I felt.

The summer passed too quickly, I had been accepted into college on a Police entry training course which thankfully only took six months to complete. As I was nearing the end of my course a series of attacks on young girls broke out across Seattle, the assailant got away and was suspected to have skipped the country. It was these particular events that made me apply to join the Cold Case team who specialised in cases where the trail had gone cold or when finding a missing person seemed impossible. It was the thought of finding people who had been missing and re-uniting them with their loved ones, when hope of them being alive had faded, that really caught my attention. I could not have my missing family but I could help others find theirs, I could not resist. I knew at times it would even be dangerous but I also knew it was worth risking my life for.

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Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! I wrote this chapter in a bit of a hurry so sorry if it's a bit messy. x x x

Aea


	7. Chapter 7

**As usual, I own nothing all characters belong to S Meyer, I just enjoy playing with them.**

**(Fast forward a couple of years or so.)**

** Chapter Seven: Living again**

It's been three years to the day that Edward left. I could think his name now, though the pain had never gone I was almost living again. I was sitting in a small cafe on the main street in Seattle; I had taken a couple of days off. I knew I needed to be alone today; it wasn't that I wanted to wallow in my misery I just needed to be alone. I had not moved on, I never dated anyone, there was no point, and I knew there was only Edward for me.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate as the rain lashed against the windows of the cafe. The weather had turned cold earlier than usual. It felt as though I hadn't seen the sun in weeks. It was miserable, weeks of endless rain _and_ now there was a distinct chill to the air. I shivered suddenly and took a longer sip of my drink, hoping it would warm me up.

I stayed for a few minutes longer dwelling on the past and sipping my drink. Once I had finished I decided I had better brave the rain, finish shopping and head home. It still felt strange that home wasn't Forks anymore. I had a small but neat little house of my own just outside the city, I preferred to be alone most of the time and I had a pretty big garden to keep me busy.

I was based in the city but my small team covered a huge area. Young as I was, being only twenty one, I headed a small specialist Police team. We took on the cases that could not be solved and were being closed down, from missing people to serial killers. Sometimes we were called in to help local Police teams struggling with a large case. It was satisfying to catch a serial killer, to know they could not hurt another person. But I truly loved re-uniting missing people with families and loved ones. Though I refused to acknowledge it these days, in part I wished to be re-united with my lost family. I knew Edward didn't want me, I doubted if he even thought of me at all now. But I missed Alice almost as much, and I wondered if she ever missed me.

I headed towards the Food store as the rain began to fall heavier, inexplicably I looked over my shoulder as I felt as though I were being watched. As I looked back across the street, for the tiniest second I thought I saw him looking right back at me. I blinked and he was gone. I felt foolish, why would he be here I chastised myself. I put it down to my imagination and started my food shopping. By the time I had filled the trolley and gotten in the queue to pay I was feeling irritated and harassed. I hated shopping at the best of times and today was not a good day to begin with.

I got through the till as quickly as I could, packed up my shopping and headed back into the rain. I ran as best I could down to the car park. I practically threw the bags in the boot of my car. I jumped in, quickly found the car park exit and twenty minutes later I was home. I unpacked the shopping, irritation making me twice as clumsy as usual which resulted in three broken eggs and a smashed jar of my favourite chocolate spread. I almost swore in frustration as I cleared up the mess and finished stocking the cupboards, re-arranging them in the process. Once done I made a strong cup of coffee, sat down at my dining table and called work.

"_CC Team DI Wenn_" Jack's irritated voice answered.

"_It's only me... Have._" I started wondering what was up with him today and whether his new attempt to give up his beloved cigarettes was the reason behind his irritation.

"_Bell it's supposed to be your day off. You know what a day off is don't you? You know where you don't come to work... or CALL IN!_" Jack groaned at me.

"_Shut up Wenn, I just wanted to know if you had heard anymore about the body discovered last Wednesday._" I huffed. Jack was worse than a mother hen, and very protective of our team. But as much as I liked him sometimes he really irritated me with his mood swings and treating me like a porcelain doll ugh!

"_Ok ok sorry I just really need a ciggie, but the wife said I have to cut them from three a day to one a day! One a day Bell. Not two a day, one!. Jez! she's gonna be the death of me._" Jack whinned.

"_Jack... honey it's for your own good you know." _I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I met Mrs Wenn once at the works Christmas night out. I was a fully trained Police Officer, I had taken out hardened criminals. Mrs Audrey Wenn was firey, formidable and clever, I really liked her but she still scared me half to death.

_"Ha... (sigh) anyhow we got the report from the Labs back, doesn't make for pretty reading Bell. Pathologist says she was drugged, reckons some sort of acid possibly mixed with heavy duty sleeping pills. We'll know more when the toxicology report gets back. She had a fair number of injuries. Broken wrist, two broken ribs one of which was fractured in two places, fracture to her Jaw and right femur, ruptured liver and spleen, multiple bruises and smaller grazes. He said she looked like she'd been hit by a car. She wasn't though. The cause of death was a large tear in her heart inflicted by a large blade, possibly a kitchen knife. Death would have been quick but she certainly suffered badly before the bastard knifed her. She was sexually assaulted quite violently, usual injuries, internal damage and traces of semen in her Vagina, Anus and Mouth. Haven't found a match on the semen yet, but I think it's the same guy Bell, this is the third girl we've had with similar injuries. The guy is a monster... what he did to her. We havent got an ID on her yet, the guy's are still combing the missing persons database_" Jack sighed in frustration.

"_I think you may be right Jack, it sounds as though we have a serial killer on the loose, but don't worry we will find the bastard_"

"_oh I got Eric checking __dental records as well. Will let you know if we get a match. Now go an enjoy your days off, I'll see you on Monday boss_"

"_Yeah see you Monday, make sure you do call if anything else comes up Jack I really wanna nail this creep, bye_" I heard him sigh again as he hung up.

I felt useless wandering through the house, I could be doing something worthwhile at work, but I knew I had to have a break sometime. I decided to send a text message to Jake, Jake had become a fire-fighter and worked irregular shifts. I didn't want to wake him if he was sleeping in.

_Hey Jake, How's La Push. Got a couple of days of if you fancy doin' anything._

_How you liking being a fire-fighter, I heard the girls are queuing up for you!_

_Will you let everyone on the reservation know that Seattle and Port Angeles_

_are not safe at the moment, we got another body last Wednesday and it_

_seems to be another murder. We think it may be linked to the two other bodies._

_Let me know when you are free._

_Bella x x x_

The phone rang ten minutes later "_Hello?_" I answered and a familiar voice spoke.

"_Hey Bell's, fancy going out tonight for a meal then on to a bar? I've missed you. Sam and Emily want to see you too._"

I sighed happily "_I didn't get you up did I Jake? Tonight is fine, how about seven thirty?_" Jake yawned "_Nah I was wide awake, Emily is driving over, we'll pick you up at seven thirty then._"

"_Sure see you later Jake_" I hung up, now I had to find something decent to wear. Damn it I was gonna make an effort for once.

I picked out a simple black dress and was amazed to find it still fit me. It's not that I had put loads of weight on but I was curvier these days that said I was much more toned and much stronger than I looked. It must be the hours and hours I spent running and training. I headed for the shower and let the hot water relax my tense shoulders.

I thought inexplicably of Edward again, I wondered if he had found his distractions. I pictured us together now, him frozen at seventeen, not that he looked seventeen, me aging, I was twenty one already and I knew one day I would look old enough to be his grandmother. I had always believed he was the one, but how could he be immortal as he is. I realised that it didn't matter, I still loved him. I was a fool. But if I could love another as well, maybe I could have a future, a life. I finished up in the shower, stepped out and dried off. As I wandered to my bedroom and began to dress, I wondered if I could love Jake. We were best friends after all could we not be more?

No. I loved him as my brother. I could not love him any other way. I knew then that if I could not love Jake that way, I wouldn't be able to love anyone but Edward. I kicked the towel across the floor in frustration.

I shifted my attention to getting ready, drying and styling my hair, I left it down. I applied minimal make up just a touch of eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara and finishing with tinted lip gloss.

I got dressed and complimented my dress with a simple necklace and a pair of earrings, less is more, Alice may even have approved. I smiled fondly at my memories of her, until it dawned on me that even if Edward didn't care, she could have found me. Alice could have remained my friend. Maybe she had distractions too I thought angrily. God I missed her almost as much as Edward. I was stupid, why couldn't I just move on, it would be so much easier if I could. Again I saw myself holding a baby in my arms, this time the baby had warm brown eyes and looked just like me. What was wrong with me for heavens sake was I getting broody now!

I sighed again, checked my reflection and, satisfied that I at least looked presentable, I went downstairs to wait. I heard Jake's voice before the doorbell went. I hurried to the door and pulled it wide open. Jake's jaw dropped for a second then he cleared his throat. "_Wow Bella, you look great._"

"_Thanks Jake, thought I'd dress up for a change, are we ready to go?_" I added as he continued to stare at me.

"_Oh yeah sure sorry, but Bells you do look hot. I love you like a sister, But damn tonight I wish you were my date_" Jake said still staring at me.

I felt the heat of my blood burn across my cheeks. I smacked him lightly on the shoulder and he chuckled. As we got in the car I gave Emily a sisterly hug and asked how she had been. We spent the rest of the journey into Seattle chatting away. I caught up with the gossip on the reservation. Leah and Seth Clearwater had both changed not long after their father Harry, Charlie's friend, had passed away. So now the pack had seven wolves. They had the odd stray Vampire cross their lands from time to time but other than that the pack had very little to do.

We parked up easily in Seattle and headed for the Prima Italia restaurant a few blocks away. We were shown straight to our table when we arrived and ordered our drinks. Emily and Sam kept exchanging looks and I wondered what was going on "_Emily?_" I asked expectantly.

"_Bella, Sam and I have some news for you_" Emily seemed suddenly shy. "_We're expecting a baby._"

"_Ooo! Congratulations_" I almost did an Alice and squealed in delight as I got up and hugged her and Sam, ignoring completely the irrational bolt of jealousy that stabbed at me. "_When did you find out, How pregnant are you, and when's it due? Ooo do you if it's a he or a she?_" I demanded in my excitement, Emily and Sam would be great parents.

"_Well we found out a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to tell you in person. I'm about 14 weeks gone. It's due towards the end of May. And we want it to be a surprise so we aren't going to find out the sex_." Emily was positively glowing, and Sam's eye's twinkled as he gazed at his wife. My heart gave a lurch as I watched their love.

I looked away from them and glanced around the restaurant. I suddenly felt empty and wondered if I would ever have what Emily has. Edward didn't want me, but other men did. I wanted children one day, but I wanted Edwards children but he couldn't give me that. I glanced at Jake as an idea popped into my head. Jake. I didn't want a relationship, but nor did I want to have a baby with a stranger. I wondered if one day when I'm ready, would Jake help me out?

Oh lord what was I thinking! I had to get a grip on myself. I tried to re-focus on the conversation as Jake gently squeezed my hand under the table. He always knew when something was wrong. I pushed all thoughts of having a child of my own to the back of my head, determind not to let them out again.

We spent the next few hours eating and talking, we discussed possible baby names and I was taken aback when Sam said if they had a daughter they would name her Isabelle after me. Jake then decided if it was a boy it would have to be named after him. Sam and Emily said they would think about it and we laughed at Jake as he pretended to be insulted. Sam then went on to the subject of Sue Clearwater and Charlie spending a lot of time together lately. I told them that I hoped they would get together as Charlie seemed to really like her. By quarter to eleven Emily was getting tired Sam and Jake were very drunk and I was a little drunk too.

Emily dropped me off on the way back to La Push, Sam was snoring in the back and Jake's head lolled to one side his mouth slightly open his eyes shut peacefully.

"_N__ight Bella, we'll see you soon_" she called from the car as I let myself in. I heard the car pull off as I closed the front door.

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please please please review x x x

Aea


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing at all sniff! its all the brilliant S Meyer's.**

**Please review**

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**Chapter Eight: Vampire**

As I locked the front door, I began to feel uneasy and as I went to switch on the light I heard movement upstairs. I reached quietly for the handle on the cupboard door by the foot of the stairs. My heart beat stuttered and began to race. I opened the door and reached inside for my gun, knowing it was already loaded. I stood silently at the foot of the stairs and as I glanced up, something moved in my living room, a shadow in the corner of my eye. Shit, there were two of them, my stomach flipped. I tried to think, which intruder should I tackle first. It never occurred to me to run, this was my home I would defend it whatever the cost.

My training kicked in then and I felt my mind overcoming the effects of the alcohol. I went to move towards the living room, intending to take out the intruder in there first, but just as I did something shot past me in the dark and seemed to disappear up the stairs. I froze for a second in shock, who could move that fast. I followed and as I ran up the stairs I heard a scuffle in the guest room, I ran towards the sound. Two figures were on the floor, but as I switched on the light and aimed my gun at them I saw only one unconscious man. The window was wide open I moved slowly towards it listening intently for any sign of the second intruder. I heard nothing, I saw nothing so I called the station.

"_You alright boss_" Jack asked. I had told the girl on the switchboard who I was and what had happened, chatting casually until my colleagues had arrived. My deputy Jack Wenn had come along with them.

"_Boss?_" Jack asked. The tone in his voice made it clear that he didn't approve of me tackling a burglar, despite my training. I instantly felt annoyed with him. I was younger and fitter than Jack. I had trained long hours to gain the skills I now had, I knew I was better equipped to tackle a criminal than he was. I sighed and concluded that it must be a man thing. For some reason though he still treated me like a damsel in distress.

"I'm _fine Jack really... I only chased him up the stairs and knocked him down. I can defend myself you know._" I gave a dramatic slightly irritated sigh before continuing. "_I think he hit his head as he was unconscious when I switched the light on. Probably hit his head on the window frame._" I laughed hoping to lighten his now sulky expression. They believed my explanation.

"_I know you are capable, I'm sorry it's just you are so young and you look so fragile..._" Jack coughed as I raised my eyebrow at him. "_Well we will take the dumb ass downtown and grill him, what a house to try and burgle._" Jack laughed as he got in his car. The other two attending Police Officers dragged the confused intruder to the car and drove off to the hospital to get the bump on his head checked.

I was alone again. I headed back indoors, all the lights were on. I set about examining my house. The backdoor was damaged by look of it the burglar had gotten in that way. Nothing was out of place downstairs, no finger prints, nothing. I headed up the stairs to check my Bedroom and the bathroom, but still nothing was out of place. I went into the guest room and saw the evidence of a scuffle. Jack and the guys assumed the mess was made when I tackled the burglar. I didn't tell them about the second figure. I only knew one explanation for someone who could move that fast. Vampire.

I felt a shiver run down my spine and several emotions ran through me at the thought of a Vampire in my house. I shut the window tightly, I wondered if the Vampire would return. If they did I couldn't fight them off. I pushed these thoughts out of my head, after all the Vampire had tackled my burglar, they may have been protecting me. I didn't want to delve further than that, but I could not help wondering, there were only seven vampires who I knew might protect me. I knew it wasn't a female from the shape, and I knew it wasn't Emmett. I would have recognised his shadow immediately as huge as he was. That ruled out four of them. I considered the remaining three, Jasper; I doubted it was him, Carlisle, possibly. And Edward. Edward who didn't want me. Edward who left me. The Edward I wasn't _'good for_'. Why would he be here? No I couldn't believe it was Edward. It had to be Carlisle.

I began to straighten up the room. I noticed the simple glass vase Charlie had given me was in pieces on the floor, I sighed as I began to pick the shards up, it had been a house warming present.

"_Ow... shoot_" I complained as a sharp pain shot across my hand. I hadn't seen the shard that was sticking up out of the rug. I could handle other people's blood now god knows I had had enough practice, but not my own. My head began to swim as I smelled the metallic tang of my blood, I looked down at the dark red liquid pooling in my left hand and the world went black.

I woke up to daylight and realised I had passed out. Then I realised I was on my bed still dressed in last nights clothes. I instinctively looked at my left hand, it was clean and a small neat bandage covered my wound. My heartbeat increased. I threw myself of the bed and sprinted to the guest room. It was clean, the broken vase was gone. I ran down the stairs and found the remains of the vase in the kitchen bin. I knew I hadn't cleared it up, just as I knew I hadn't washed and bandaged my own hand. I knew the vampire had done this, he had tended my wound, cleaned up the broken glass and had carried me to my bed. I couldn't breathe as the panic set in. I clasped my arms around myself holding my self together.

I tried to think clearly. The Vampire had cleaned up my blood, how was it that I was alive? I could be certain it was not Jasper, he would not have been able to clean my wound and not kill me. It had to be Carlisle he had a unique self control, maybe Carlisle was working nearby. Yes that was probably it, He must have caught my scent and stopped by, perhaps he was curious. He wouldn't be back though, he would stay away just like I know Edward would have asked.

Edward, it couldn't be Edward, he didn't care enough to come back to me. And surely, I tried to convince myself, three years away from my scent would have been too much for him. If it had been Edward he wouldn't have been able to resist. But though I tried to ignore it, my intuition told me it still could have been Edward.

As certain as I was that at least for now I was safe, I showered and changed as quickly as I could, I called a locksmith out who changed all my locks and replaced the damaged one on the back door. It didn't make much difference as a new lock would not keep a vampire out.

Wanting to keep busy I decided to spend the rest of the morning tidying the garden. The garden was still wet from days of non stop rain and already the weeds had taken root. By lunch I was exhausted and had only cleared half the garden. I gave up then and went in to have lunch. As I was eating a bowl of soup and a toasted bagel, the heavens opened and I heard a clap of thunder. Then the rain came down again, I sighed, I would never get this garden tidied at this rate. I finished my lunch and cleared away the dishes. My mind wandered away from me, and I was seventeen again standing frozen in the forest. My heart squeezed painfully as I remembered the day he had left my life, I fought the urge to scream out as the familiar pain twisted my insides. I took a few deep breaths and blocked out the memory.

Another clap of thunder made me jump and I moved to the back door. I stood looking out of the door, watching the lightening storm for a few minutes when I got the feeling I was being watched. I stared at the line of trees at the back of the garden, for a moment I thought I saw someone move, I took a step forward but thought better of it. I was becoming paranoid. I turned back into the house and switched the kettle on, then I froze. I heard the sound of an upstairs window open, I abandoned the kitchen, running through the house and up the stairs as fast as my legs would carry me. I ran into the guest room, the window was open again and there on the side table was a glass vase filled with wet Bluebells and Forget Me Not's.

I held my breath as I moved toward the window, but I saw no one was outside. I knew I wouldn't the vampire was too fast for my human eyes. I closed the window and I walked slowly to my bedroom and there on my bed was a single Red Rose. I could not breathe even when my lungs began to protest. I stared at the flower on my bed, this wasn't Carlisle.

Was it Edward after all? Could it be him? But why would Edward toy with me? He had told me he didn't want me. He left years ago. Was this... someone entirely new? I felt the fear rush through my body. Damn it.

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please please please review


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing it belongs to S. Meyer**

** Chapter Nine: To Kill a killer.**

I had considered calling Jake and telling him about the vampire but some strange feeling stopped me. By Sunday night I was beyond confused but no longer felt any fear. Each night I went to bed knowing I may never wake up, the nightmares had returned to torture me. Every morning I had woken up tired but relieved I was still alive. If this Vampire (I still wasn't convinced it was Edward) intended to kill me surely he would have done so by now. I didn't understand so I tried to ignore it.

I had spent the past few days chatting on the phone to Charlie, Jake and Emily. Pretending nothing had changed. I cleaned my house top to bottom. On Friday morning I had gotten up, washed and dressed then went out to finish clearing the garden, only to find that all the weeds had mysteriously uprooted themselves and disappeared. Nothing else had happened after that, well except for the second vase of flowers that had appeared next to my bed on the table when I woke up Sunday morning.

I called up Jack Wenn on Sunday night to catch up on work, we discussed a plan to try and catch the serial killer. We believed he was still in town and although no more bodies had been found, a couple of clubbers on their way home disturbed a man trying to rape a young woman. The man ran off, we believed it was the killer. The young woman was very lucky. We had to catch him and fast. I had decided that I would go out as the bait and try to trap him. Jack wasn't keen, thought it was too dangerous and far too risky. I pointed out that I was the only girl on the team and that I was the boss, he gave way in the end.

The week went slowly, we prepared for our operation on the Friday night. As I would be the bait I had to get the killer's attention so I would become the stereotype of his victims, young, drunk and alone. Except I would be armed and dangerous. I had seen the three bodies, I had seen what he had inflicted on them. I had been violently sick after reading the pathologist's report, I had also read a statement from the girl he attacked on Friday night. I didn't want to catch him, I wanted him dead.

Friday night arrived, the guy's, were nervous for me. They were all to play their part along with some extra bodies from downtown. They would be stationed at different bars across town looking out for the killer. We would be in touch via our mobile phones. I had dressed in a pair of tight Jeans and a sparkly sequined top, I stuck to flat shoes. I had to look like I was out for the night, but I had to be practical. I had to be able to fight unhindered.

I drove into Seattle and Parked up on the edge of town, which meant that later on I would have to walk alone back to the car. An easy target so to speak. I entered the nearest bar and ordered a mineral water. I sat down alone and waited. One of the guys undercover, Ian, came over. We acted as though we only vaguely knew each other and casually chatted for half an hour. Ian went to the mens room and called my mobile while he was in there.

"_Bell... far left of the bar, tall white guy, shifty looking, light brown hair, can you see him?_" Ian asked urgently.

"_Yes_" I smiled into my phone as though I were having a normal conversation. I glanced towards the bar, and saw from the corner of my eye that the guy in question was staring at me.

"_He's been watching you for a while now... is he still looking?_"

"_Yes definitely._" I replied still playing my part.

"_Matches the girls description, do you think it's him?_"

"_Yes I do..._" we had all agreed a code line I would use to let the guys undercover know when we thought we had found the killer. I used it. "_I'll meet you in five minutes honey, on my way bye_" I hung up, and waited for Ian.

Ian came out the men room a couple of minutes later and came over to me. I told him my friend had called and that I was going on to another bar. Ian and I said goodbye and I walked out the bar. Less than a minute later Ian text me _'He's following you, be careful._' I giggled as if the text I had been sent was a joke and sent a reply _'let Jack know I'm headed for him, should be there in three minutes_'. Jack was in a bar a couple of streets away. The streets were busy so I knew I was safe for now.

I heard him following me as I entered the next bar, I saw Jack and Andy sat at the bar. I ignored them and ordered another water, the bartender was an undercover Police Officer. When he gave me my glass it looked like a cocktail. He leant forward as though he was flirting and whispered "_it's just water and juice, but let him think you are drinking alcohol_". I gave him a flirty smile and walked away. I sat down in the corner where an undercover policewoman was waiting to play my friend. We hugged each other and started chatting as though we were best friends.

For the next few hours or so we chatted, acting more and more drunk. He watched us but he didn't follow when we left for another bar. It got to kicking out time, and he was nowhere to be seen. Damn we'd lost him, I felt angry that he had gotten away. We decided to try again next Friday, and hoped he didn't kill again before then. My 'friend' left with a guy, another undercover cop just in case to make it look as though I was going home alone. I said a noisy drunken goodbye to my 'friend' and headed back to my car. There was no sign of the killer anywhere. We had agreed that I would call when I got to my car just in case. I didn't hear anyone follow me and I didn't see anyone suspicious. The street became deserted as I neared the car park. Damn it to hell my signal had failed. I would have to call Jack and Ian when I got home.

Then I heard footsteps and I knew I was in trouble. I froze as I heard him speed up behind me. I turned to face him.

"_Hello cutie, where you off to?_" The killer towered over me, his eyes boring into mine with a sickening leer.

I knew then I had to face this guy alone, I couldn't call for back up. He made to grab me, but I was too fast. I shifted as he grabbed the air to my right, I brought my elbow down on his back then swung round to kick him in the ribs. I heard him swear at me before he rolled quickly to his feet. I could take him I thought triumphantly, the adrenalin flowed quickly through my veins and I felt no fear.

"_You gonna pay for that, you bitch_" he snarled at me.

I ran at him and landed a punch in his face. He staggered backwards but then his fist came straight back up and connected with my mouth, I stumbled backwards. He ran at me, again I dodged. But as I turned my blood ran cold. A second figure had arrived and he was pointing a gun at me.

I heard the shot ring out. I flew backwards as a bullet drove into my shoulder followed by another to my chest. A white hot searing pain shot down my left arm and another across my chest. Shit. Shit. Shit. I felt warm liquid pulse out of my chest, I tried to get up, but the first attacker was already over me. I heard a cruel laugh as the second man spoke to the first "_teach her a lesson, but leave her conscious, I wanna bit of fun with her_".

"_You can have her first then..._" I heard a heavy thud and a sharp cry, I turned my head and I saw the second man thrown against a wall as someone snarled in anger. An angel had appeared and he picked up the second man like a rag doll and threw him against the wall again.

I looked back at the first man, he was distracted so I took advantage and managed to throw him off me. I staggered to my feet, the smell of blood made my head swim. Shit not now. I held my breath and somehow I managed to ignore the blood and the pain, my survival instincts must have kicked in. As the first man launched himself at me again I tried to reach my bag to pull out my gun, but the attacker reached me first. He slammed his fist into my stomach and I could smell the sickly odour of alcohol on his breath as I lurched forward in pain. He seemed oblivious to the fate of his accomplice as he threatened me.

"_I'll make you beg, you'll wanna die when I've finished with you._" He started to pull at my clothes, I knew what he intended so I bit his arm as hard as I could and managed to push him off. I reached again for my bag this time my hand grabbed hold of it. I swung it up just in time to hit him across the head. While he rolled backwards the angel came towards us just as I pulled the gun from my bag, they both froze in front of me. I had my gun aimed at my attacker. I remembered the things he had done to the women he had killed. I felt angry tears fall from my eyes and a burning hatred flowed through my body as the images of them swam through my head. I knew I was badly injured, so if I was going to die then I would take this bastard with me.

"_Don't_" the angels' voice was soft and beautiful, I had forgotten how beautiful he sounded. My Vampire Love. But I didn't take my eyes off the attacker and ignoring the Vampire who had saved me yet again, I aimed the gun and fired.

The bullet hit his lower leg and he screamed out in agony, I fired again and the second bullet hit him in the chest. He sank heavily to the ground, whimpering in pain. I threw the gun away from me.

I swayed slightly as the adrenalin rush faded and the agonising pain began to rip through my body. The Vampire moved towards me, I turned to look at him, as I did the pain became so intense my legs gave way and I fell to my knees. I struggled to breathe as I felt my body fight for survival. I heard sirens in the distance, they were heading towards me. It was over.

I looked at the Vampire as his cold arms wrapped around me pulling me against his cold stone chest. He lifted me from the ground and I shivered at his touch. I looked into his black eyes, he looked as though he was in pain. He shouldn't be in pain. This beautiful heavenly creature that I loved, it was wrong that he should suffer in any way. I sighed as the pain seemed to fade and I became almost numb.

"_Bella..._" he murmured softly, brokenly. I closed my eyes I could fight no longer. I felt peaceful, content somehow that I would take my last breath wrapped in his arms.

"_Edward..._" I whispered as the world disappeared.

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	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing at all. Its all belongs to S Meyer. **

**This chapter and the next will be in Edwards point of view, hope you like it. Please review x x x**

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**Chapter Ten: Coming Home (Edwards POV)**

Three years had passed. Three long, torturous, years, since the day I had left my very reason for living. It had almost destroyed me to leave her. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that she would be better of without me, safer. I had left to protect her from myself, from the inherent danger of the world I belonged to. I had spent the past three years thinking of her, remembering every word she had said to me, every look she had given. Playing my memories over and over in my head, I was fighting everyday to stop myself from running back to her. But it was a losing battle.

Everyday I inched closer to her. I had roamed across the Americas, had gone as far as Japan. When I left I had decided to track down Victoria and make her pay for her part in hurting my Bella. I had chased Victoria half way across the world, but had lost her trail in Europe. I was no tracker and after accepting the trail had gone cold I travelled to Canada. I could feel the pull of Forks as though I were being physically dragged towards it. I had confined myself to a Log Cabin as far north as possible, desperately trying to convince myself to stay away. But I knew I could be in Forks again in a matter of hours and I knew I couldn't fight it any longer. So I decided to head for home.

For the first time in months I had turned on my phone and was shocked to see dozens of missed calls from Alice. I never had a missed call from Alice, she would always know when my phone was on and whether or not I would answer her call. I had felt an unease settle on me, she must have been extremely frustrated to have called my phone so many times, knowing I would not answer.

Barely a second later my phone had buzzed. I had looked at the caller ID, already knowing who it would be. Alice.

"_Alice?_" I had answered.

"_EDWARD! I have been trying to get hold of you for weeks!_" Alice had practically yelled at me down the phone. Before she could say another word I saw the reasons she was calling. I saw the visions she had of Bella. My beautiful Bella. I was frozen as I watched.

I saw Bella and felt a jolt of pain at seeing her face through Alice's mind, but I drank in the images of her. The vision shifted and I watched as she walked alone down a deserted street. I felt a knot growing in my stomach as the vision showed someone following her. The vision shifted and blurred as sickening fear gripped me. When the image cleared I saw Bella crumpled on the concrete of a parking lot her lips were blue and her blood stained her torn clothes a dark crimson. I saw the human monster stand up away from Bella's lifeless body, he was buttoning up his trousers a malicious smile on his lips. Rage filled me then and I growled aloud in fury and pain. I would hunt the bastard down and I would tear him apart slowly.

I remembered the missed phone calls and terror gripped me, what if... had this already happened? I fell to my knees as the world started to fall apart, the thought I was too late, the thought she was dead. Gone. I couldn't even begin to describe my desolation.

"_Is she... Alice... is. Has...oh god_" I tried to speak but I couldn't stop the image of her lying dead from replaying in my head, the thought made me incoherent.

"_Edward she's ok_" Alice's gentle voice soothed "as _soon as I had the first vision we all moved back to Forks. Emmett and I have been watching her. Jasper stay's away, he is so afraid he could hurt her. Carlisle and Esme take over when we need to hunt. Rose even helps keep an eye out. But the visions haven't stopped Edward and I'm so afraid for her_" Alice whispered those last few words, her voice breaking into a sob.

"_I'm coming home._" I had told her then. I hung up and shoved my phone into my pocket. I left my car knowing I could run to Forks faster than I could drive the distance.

I ran as fast as I could and made it to Forks in just few hours. Alice was waiting outside the house for me. I knew they were all there. I heard their thoughts.

'_Oh! my Edward, you look terrible... I..._' was Alice's first thought when she saw me. I could see myself through her eyes. My eyes were black and the shadows under them were almost as dark. I hadn't fed for a while.

Alice seemed to know, she took my hand and led me back into the forest. I knew from her thoughts that Emmett and Rose were watching Bella. I had to hunt, I had been away from the temptation of Bella's blood for so long I had to take every precaution possible.

Alice and I had hunted together in silence, Alice kept her mind blank at first but soon let her thoughts flow freely showing me everything I had missed. Showing me how much my family had missed me. I felt humbled and wholely undeserving of their patience and love.

When I finally arrived back at the house my family were waiting. My mother and father's thoughts were loving and concerned. They had truly missed me and I was ashamed of the hurt I had caused them. Jasper had kept his distance at first, he still blamed himself for me leaving. I could hear his quiet remorse and guilt. I knew I had to reasure him, it was not his fault, not entirely anyway. Emmett was excited that I was back we had always been close, brothers in everyway but one. But it was Rose's thoughts that captured my attention fully.

She was angry with me. Well that was nothing new, but this _felt_ different.

'_Foolish boy, see how you have hurt them all. They missed you..._'(a silent sigh) but her next thought shocked me. '_If_ _you love her this much how can it be so wrong for her to_ _be in your life? You need each other Edward. The sooner you get that the better for all of us. I am tired of seeing this family hurting. You annoy me and sometimes I really don't like you...but I still love you, you are if nothing else, my brother._' I had heard something warm in her last words and knew they were sincere. I smiled softly at her, silently acknowledging her thoughts without letting the others know what had passed.

I waited with my family for a couple of hours then on Alice's command I headed over to Seattle. Alice had told me it would rain for most of the day and that Bella would be sitting in a cafe in the city centre.

I ran to Seattle, it only took ten minutes or so. I soon found the cafe Alice had seen, I soon saw her through the steamed up windows. If my heart had been beating it would have stopped at that moment when my eyes found her face, she looked so different and yet exactly the same. She was more beautiful than ever, but her eyes seemed empty, lifeless. I burned in agony not knowing what made her look so sad. I could not go to her, I could not ask her. She could not know I was here. It had to be enough for me just to keep her safe nothing more. I did not deserve her, I could not justify stepping back into her life. She might not even want me, perhaps she had moved on, I hated that thought. Hated that she could be someone else's love. I still needed her and my will power was all that stopped me going to her. But I knew I was fighting a losing battle, fighting to stay away I couldn't do it much longer.

I had watched her as she sipped at her drink, just seeing her made me feel almost whole again. It began to rain and very quickly became a down pour. She left the cafe after another few minutes and ran through the rain, across the street and into another shop. She turned round just before she went into the shop and for a second her eyes found mine. I gasped and threw myself out of sight round the side of a building. I chanced a look after a couple of seconds, she was shaking her head as she disappeared into the shop. And so I waited for her out of sight.

When she finally emerged a while later she seemed annoyed. I'd felt myself smile at her expression and a flood of memories played through my head. Again the urge to run to her and capture her in my arms almost won. I watched her pack her things into her car a frown darkened her face, I'd chuckled silently to myself, then she'd driven out of the car park. Once she was on the main road I followed as best I could. As soon as she was on the highway I ran through the trees that flanked the road and followed her to her house.

I settled in the trees to the rear of her house and watched. I heard her make plans on the phone with a friend, 'Jacob', and listened as she got ready to go out. It was wrong and I had no right but I felt so jealous of her friends. I wanted to talk to her like they could, listen to her laughter and see her smile at me. But I had forsaken any right to her friendship, her love when I left her.

I'd watched her when she answered the door to her friend. She was so beautiful that I was stunned. I wanted to kill her friend Jacob as I heard his thoughts. He loved her but the things he was imagining really bugged me. I caught a strange scent then, I stared hard at Jacob. It couldn't be. I was certain I could smell a 'wet dog' scent. I would run that by my family later. I then watched as Bella got in the car with her friends and drove off.

I ran home then to check in with my family. I told them about the scent I had caught and Carlisle then told me that Jacob Black had become a werewolf along with a few others in the Quiluete tribe. Carlisle then told me that it had been the Wolf pack who had destroyed Victoria when she had returned intent on killing Bella.

I walked out when he told me. I had failed Bella again, I should have protected her from Victoria, and she should never have had to put her life in someone else's hands. It was my job to protect her and I had failed. I had left her unprotected, I left her in danger. Never again. I would protect her from now on, even if she never knows I'm there.

I ran back to Bella's house and as I arrived I saw a man break in to the house through the back door. I followed slowly, I would take him out before Bella got back. But as I moved into the hallway, Bella arrived home. I shot into the living room as the front door opened and Bella stepped in. I gasped and immediately her scent burned through my nose and down my throat. venom filled my mouth. The familiar burning thirst felt so good and I was surprised how easy it was to ignore the pull of Bella's blood. It meant she was alive and well. I would suffer any pain to just know that.

I pulled myself together, though Bella couldn't see me I could see her. I heard the intruder move upstairs and by the way that Bella was frozen in the hallway, I knew she had heard it too. Bella moved slowly and deliberately towards a cupboard at the bottom of the stairs. I was shocked when she pulled out a gun. What the hell did she have a gun for! I moved towards her unthinkingly. She saw my movement and took a step towards me. I bolted past her and flew up the stairs. I couldn't let her tackle the intruder she could get hurt. I heard a gasp as I ran into the intruder, in the same moment I threw him to the floor and he knocked into a table. I saw a glass vase topple of the table but it missed him. Bella was running up the stairs so I quickly opened the window and then ran back out to the hallway and into another room.

I realised I was in her bedroom as her scent was stronger in here. I slid silently into her closet as I heard her flick on a light switch. I breathed in deeply and tasted her scent over and over. Each time it became less painful, until I was left with the normal dull thirst aching at the back of my throat. I listened intently, I could hear her heart beat race as she headed back downstairs. I hoped she would call the cops. She did. I listened to her announce who she was to the female voice on the other end of the phone. DCI Swan. DCI? What. Was. She. Thinking. Bella was a policewoman! I nearly lost it then and almost ran down the stairs to demand to know why she would choose such a dangerous career. I held myself together and tried to concentrate on her conversation. Bella didn't tell them about me, she claimed that she had tackled a burglar.

Her colleagues, I didn't think I would cope with this, were there in minutes. They seemed genuinely fond of Bella and I was grateful to them for their kindness. They took the burglar away and I heard Bella's soft footfalls re-enter the house. She seemed to be checking the whole house. I heard the clink of glass and decided she must be cleaning up the broken vase. I heard her sharp intake of breath followed by her complain "_Ow, Shoot_". As I quickly stepped out of the closet I heard a thump. I ran to the other bedroom and saw Bella slumped on the floor, blood pooling in her left hand. I'd sighed and moved towards her, gently I'd wound my arms around her and inhaled deeply.

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	11. Chapter 11

**As usual I own nothing, is all S Meyer's.**

** Chapter Eleven: My Bella (Edwards POV)**

The smell of fresh blood hit me hard but I found I could ignore it easily enough. After all I had Bella in my arms, albeit an unknowing and unconscious Bella.

I carried her to her bathroom and holding her up with one arm I cleaned her hand up with the other. I held a piece of cotton against her cut and carried her to her bed. I gently laid her on her bed and then returned to the bathroom for a bandage. After I had finished dressing her wounded hand I sat on the bed beside her and watched her sleep. She murmured words I could not understand at first until she muttered the word vampire. I chuckled quietly at that, she sounded put out when she said it.

I finally moved and cleaned up the other bedroom, making a mental note to get her another vase. I was on my way back up the stairs when I heard her whimper. I ran into the bedroom fearing she was in pain or had woken up and was scared. She was still asleep but a frown had creased her forehead. I stroked her cheek and she shivered slightly before whispering my name.

My heart seemed to melt when she said my name, I loved that she still dreamed of me, then I wondered if she still cared for me. I shook my head I dared not hope. I wasn't good enough for her, I hated myself then because despite everything I wanted her to be mine, as I am hers.

I stayed with her all that night, watching her sleep until the sky began to lighten and I knew I had to leave her for a few hours. I left the house but didn't go far, I climbed up into the trees at the end of her garden and watched the house. I called Alice quickly and explained that I needed her to get a glass vase to replace the one I had broken. I also gave her a run down on the previous night. Alice found me half and hour later and handed me a simple yet elegant glass vase. Alice watched the house while I went to pick some flowers to put in the vase. As soon as I was back Alice said she had to go, I suspected that she wanted to leave me in peace for a while.

I sat in the trees and watched amused as Bella checked through her house again when she got up. She found the broken vase in the kitchen bin and I couldn't make sense of the emotions that crossed her face for a few minutes afterwards. I listened as she took a shower and got changed. I heard her call a locksmith out and watched when the guy came out to change her locks. He seemed like a nice guy but I didn't like the way he looked at Bella. Or the fact that the guy wished he had the nerve to ask her on a date. Once the locksmith had left Bella came out into the garden and began to tidy it and pull up some of the weeds that had sprung up. I continued to watch her fascinated as she went inside to make herself something to eat. I noticed she looked tired as I heard the first rumbles of thunder in the distance. The storm soon moved closer. As I watched her clear away her dishes, her expression became pained and her heartbeat increased. I was sure she was about to cry out in pain, then she closed her eyes, took some deep breaths and shuddered once before opening them again. I was worried, I wanted to know what she remembered that caused her so much pain, I was afraid that it was me that had hurt her so badly that she still felt the pain.

Another loud clap of thunder and she moved to her back door and looked out. Bella seemed to be watching the storm but suddenly looked straight at me, though I knew she could not see me I held my breath frozen. Lost in her eyes I saw her take a step forward and suddenly I was hoping she would come to me. Then she paused and turned to go back in. I almost called her name, almost.

Instead I darted across her garden, as fast as the lightening above me, and threw open her guest room window. I carefully placed the new vase, complete with rain water and flowers, on the bedside table and moved quickly to her bedroom. I pulled out the single red rose I had spotted growing in a garden, when I had gone to pick her some flowers. I laid the rose on her bed as I heard her running up the stairs. I hid again in her closet as she ran straight to the guestroom and gasped. I could hear her unsteady breaths and her racing heartbeat. Had I scared her, I was worried then realising that I had behaved like a stalker. But I couldn't help it. A part of me wanted her to figure out that I was nearby, the most selfish part of me that is.

I heard the window close and her soft footfalls as she came into her bedroom. Another sharp intake of breath, I watched her through the crack in the closet door. Her expression was shock then fear, then hope? Before returning to fear. Damn it I had frightened her. Fool that I was.

I continued to watch her over the following days. Listening as she chatted on the phone, never once mentioning the vase, flowers or the 'second' intruder. Me. It was like she was determined to ignore my presence. So when she went to bed on Thursday night I finished tidying up her garden for her it only took me a few minutes. When she came down the next morning and saw the garden she looked almost annoyed, she then carried on with other things her face unreadable. On Sunday morning after watching her sleep I had bought another vase and this time filled it with beautiful pale pink and creamy white roses. They reminded me of the colour of her beautiful skin. When she saw them she gave a little start and then timidly touched one of the soft petals before getting up and smelling them. She ignored them after that.

The Sunday night she called one of her work colleagues and talked about work, I only listened to a few words as I left to go hunting. When I got back Bella had gone to bed. I watched her sleep again that night, she said my name a few times in her sleep, each time either sounding sad or angry when she did.

Alice's visions shifted a lot during the next week, but none of them settled enough for us to see anything concrete. Bella seemed to work long hours and was always tired when she got home. Despite her tiredness she called Charlie a couple of times and spoke to her other friends as well. When she got home on Friday she seemed tense, I wondered if she would have an early night. I loved watching her sleep. But Bella went up to her Bathroom and got in the shower. I listened then as she moved about her bedroom. When Bella moved downstairs I could see that she was going out. I wondered who with.

I got my answer when she drove off by herself. I followed her and watched as she entered the nearest bar. I waited for a few minutes until one of her colleagues, I knew this because I had followed her to work a couple of times, came and sat with her. I left then to go and hunt

I returned to Bella's house after I had hunted and waited for to come back, knowing it was still early. As I was waiting my phone buzzed, Alice.

"_Alice..._" As I said her name she started talking very quickly, she didn't need to talk, I could read the visions in her head. Bella. I panicked and abandoning the house I ran not caring who might glimpse me. I pushed my legs as hard as I could, desperate to get to Bella in time. Alice's vision had solidified and the killer was attacking her, He would kill her if I didn't get there in time.

I felt as though I wasn't running fast enough but my legs would not go any quicker, time was moving too quickly. I was listening intently for Alice's visions, but I was still unprepared when another vision raced through her mind. Bella was fighting back, and she was doing a good job. I found myself heading towards the edge of the car park. I caught the scent of her blood then and raced towards it, still watching the visions through Alice's mind.

To my horror the vision shifted and a second figure appeared, and he was wielding a gun. As I rounded a corner, I saw Bella, her attacker and the second figure. Then a shot rang out swiftly followed by a second.

White hot rage poured through my veins and I growled in fury before launching myself at the second figure, I locked my arms around him and lifting him of his feet I threw him against a wall. I looked back to Bella, she had been thrown to the ground, I knew she was bleeding heavily from the painful burn in my throat. I started towards her but the second figure was trying to get up. I grabbed him again throwing him repeatedly against the wall, rage blinding me. He stopped moving. I knew he was dead. I moved towards Bella as I did she shoved her attacker off her and pulled a gun from her bag. I froze, as did her assailant.

Bella's face was filled with pain and fear, then a new emotion appeared that I had not seen on her face before. Hate. Pure Hate. I couldn't let her deal with her attacker, couldn't allow her to take his life that was my job.

"_Don't_" I begged softly. She never took her eyes of him, nor did she move a muscle other than her unsteady shallow breathing. I was still frozen when she pulled the trigger. Bella fired twice and I heard the bullets hit her attackers flesh, searing hot metal driving into bone. He screamed and whimpered before falling silent, unconscious as his blood stained the concrete.

I rushed to Bella and as I did she fell to her knees. Her breath coming short and her heartbeat stuttering. I heard the sirens racing towards us. I wrapped my arms gently around her broken bleeding body and hugged her to my chest. I felt as though my world was being ripped away from me. I could not lose Bella, not now please, I begged silently. I wanted to tell her I loved her, to confess everything to her but I couldn't speak. I carried her quickly towards the sound of the sirens. I couldn't take my eyes from Bella's.

"_Bella..._" I forced her name out, desperately willing her to hold on a little longer. I choked back my dry sobs as her eyes closed. Her breathing became shallower and her heartbeat fluttered weakly. Please fight it, please, I silently begged as I held her to me.

"_Edward..._" she whispered as she fell unconscious her body beginning to lose its fight for life.

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I held her to me as the EMT's rushed towards me. I didn't notice what they did with the two attackers. I could not tear myself away from Bella as they began fighting to keep her alive.

The journey by ambulance seemed to take forever, I was going out of my mind. When we finally arrived at the hospital Bella was still clinging to life.

They took her straight to theatre. In the hours that followed, her father arrived along with her friends. Carlisle arrived at the same time as Charlie but had headed straight down to theatre to offer his assistance. I knew that they had accepted as he had not returned yet. I had great faith in Carlisle's abilities but I could not allow myself to hope. I waited in despair for the news I was dreading, that Bella, my Bella was... I couldn't live without her and I knew I wouldn't live without her. It was hard to kill a vampire but not impossible. I spent the time planning how, and daring to hope that I might meet her again in the next life if there was one for a monster like me.

It was tense but silent in the waiting room, we were all too deeply wrapped in our own thoughts of Bella to talk or argue.

Time ticked slowly by, each second felt like a minute, each minute an hour. The tension only increased when Bella's colleague DI Wenn came in. He asked if we had had any news, as he had been dealing with the two attackers. I remained silent, my head clasped between my hands. Charlie muttered something, and then Jacob spoke up.

"_No Jack, nothing, she's been in theatre for over eight hours now..._" Jacob ran his hands over his face, his thoughts breaking into my mind. _'Oh god, oh god. I can't lose her. I knew she'd get hurt in the police. I can't stand this, I should have been there, I promised_ _to protect her... Bella'_. I glanced up at him and saw the pain twisting his features. He loved her, not as much as I did, but still he loved her.

"_Oh I..._" DI Wenn seemed lost for words. He blamed himself for not walking her to her car, for not checking if she had a signal on her phone. He didn't know what to say. I felt grateful towards him, he was fond of Bella and tried to look out for her. He didn't need to blame himself, it wasn't his job to protect Bella. It was mine, and I was the one who had failed her.

"Erm_, one of the attackers is in a stable condition at a prison hospital, he will be transferred to Texas to await trail for Murder and several other serious charges, not to mention the ones in connection with Bella. The other attacker is dead. It seems that when Mr Cullen here threw him against the wall his head hit it at a funny angle. Broke his neck._"

I looked up at him bleakly. "_Don't worry Mr Cullen, you won't face any charges, it was clearly self defence and the defence of another_" he paused before muttering "_bastard deserved a lot more..._" DI Wenn left the room quietly closing over the door. My head dropped back into my hands, nothing mattered but Bella.

Charlie's muted thoughts were frightened and angry and the fear of losing his only child was close to breaking him. I felt as though some of the anger was for me. I knew I deserved it, while sitting there I had read much of Jacobs' thoughts. When he had seen me his mind automatically played back memories of Bella just after I had left her. I thought the pain of his thoughts would kill me. I knew now that the pain I had seen cross inexplicably over Bella's face from time to time was my fault.

When something reminded her of me, of my family, it brought her pain. Leaving her had nearly destroyed us both. I vowed then I would never leave her again unless she ordered me away, and even then I would watch over her from a distance. If she didn't survive, I chocked out loud at the thought of her not existing, I would find a way to follow her.

I could feel Charlie and Jacobs eyes on me. They didn't want me here. Charlie blamed me rightly for all the pain I had caused her, blamed himself for her joining the police, thought I had a nerve showing up again despite being told by Bella's colleagues that I had come to her rescue. He should blame me, I didn't get there in time. I should have stopped them hurting her. I wanted to scream, when would I stop failing her.

Jacob hated me for the pain he had seen her go through, hated himself for not being there to protect her , and feared that Bella might forgive me and let me back in her life. I hoped his fears came true, I was desperate for her to forgive me. I would settle for her friendship if she could find a way to forgive me for the fool that I was.

My head snapped up again as I heard footsteps outside the room. Carlisle came in his face pale and drawn, his eyes found mine then he turned to Charlie.

"_Charlie..._" Carlisle voice was tired but calm. Charlie looked up fear etched in his eyes.

"_She's ok Charlie, she's ok._" Charlie chocked out a sob and tears fell freely from his eyes. Jacob let out a breath and closed his eyes in relief. I felt the hope building in my chest, my eyes stayed locked on Carlisle knowing he hadn't finished. But I was no longer burning in despair, but riding a surge of hope.

"_She lost a lot of blood, we nearly lost her when her heart failed, twice. She is stable now, her shoulder wound is mainly superficial, though the bullet did dislocate it, the bullet to her chest missed her heart by three millimetres, and caused a lot of internal bleeding. She should come round in a few hours but she will be on high doses of morphine for the next few days to control the pain. I would suggest we keep her sedated for at least the next forty eight hours. But it's your decision Charlie_". Carlisle spoke softly and reassuringly.

"_Thank you Dr Cullen, you have my permission to keep her sedated, I don't want her to suffer anymore than she has to. Can I see her? Please._" Charlie was calmer now.

"Of _course. I will take you all to the ward they have a waiting area up there. That's if it's ok by you Charlie._" Carlisle asked.

"_Oh I...Yes yes_" Charlie muttered throwing me a glare. Charlie wanted to send me away from the hospital but he knew Bella wouldn't be happy. Bella was all that mattered to Charlie at the moment.

We followed Carlisle up to the Ward where Bella was recovering and sat in the waiting room there while the doctors finished sedating her. As soon as he was allowed Charlie went to see her, leaving Jacob and myself alone. We neither of us spoke, though Jacob would shoot daggers at me from time to time. I tried to block out his thoughts and thought of Bella. I didn't bother to look up as others entered the room. I gathered from the conversation that these were friends of Bella's, I'm sure one or two were werewolves judging by the smell.

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don't forget to review! I need your opinions please please please x x x


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing, it's all S Meyer's.**

** Chapter Twelve: Waking Up**

I was in the hospital. I knew that much, I was familiar with the sounds of a hospital. I had been in them often enough. My Chest felt tight and uncomfortable and the pain in my shoulder was not easing. But the confusion was the worst. Edward had come, he had saved me. If he hadn't...

"_Bella...Bella can you hear me? Hey I think she's waking up. Sam call Charlie... oh and I suppose you had better get the doctor_" those last words sounded angry.

"_Jake..?_" I sounded awful, I felt awful. I tried again. First things first. I couldn't deal with Edward yet but I had to know if I got the bastard and what had happened to the other creep. "_Jake the two attackers?_"

"_Shh easy it's ok Bells._" I heard a sigh. "_One guy, the one you managed to shoot, is in the prison hospital, as soon as he is well enough he will be put on trial. He's been charged with several things, he'll go down for life if he's lucky. They want to transfer him to Texas where his first victim was discovered. Texas want the death penalty. The second guy is dead, he... hit his head pretty hard, caused a major brain bleed or somethin'._" Jake was stroking my hand.

"_You did really well Bells... but..._"

"_But?_" I whispered, I knew where this was going.

"_Why is the bloodsucker back, Bella after what he did to you, why didn't you tell me... after..._" Jake sounded beyond angry.

"_Jake please, He saved my life..._" Again I thought. "_If... I could have managed against the first guy but..., I would have been the fourth body if... Edward hadn't arrived_" I stated simply.

Jake put his head in his hands and murmured "_I'm sorry Bell's, I said I would always protect you. I didn't._" He looked at me then.

"Jake _you can't always be there, you have your own life to lead. I knew my job would be dangerous at times, I accepted that, it's my choice... I don't know why he was there, maybe he was just passing. I don't know why he would bother to save my life..._" I paused as I heard a growl outside the door. I looked questioningly at Jake.

"_He's been waiting outside since they brought you in._" he answered resentment creeping into his voice.

My heart raced, which annoyed me because the monitor I was hooked up to started beeping faster.

I raised my voice and continued "_as I was saying, I don't know why he's here after all he made it clear I wasn't 'good for him' when he left. I doubt that has changed._" I sighed. There was silence from outside then Edward came in his beautiful face dark with anger. I quickly lowered my eyes, I couldn't look at him so I turned to Jake.

"_Charlie?_" I asked.

"_Charlie is on his way, he and Emily went back to your place to get you some clean clothes. I'm sorry but... I have to go Bell's, I'm due on shift in an hour. You don't mind do you, you know I would stay but we're undermanned as it is after the viral outbreak in Forks last week. I'll call you later... I love you Bells, please don't scare me like this again._" Jake smiled at me before reluctantly getting up. I knew he said he loved me for Edwards benefit. Trust Jake to try to stir the pot. I sighed and smiled back.

"_Love you too Jake, thanks._" I said as Jake left. I felt awkward so I pretended to be engrossed in my hands. Silence. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I finally looked at Edward just as Dr Carlisle Cullen walked through the door, Edward looked straight back at me. "_Bella, its good to see you, though I wish it wasn't in these circumstances. How are you feeling?_"

I dragged my eyes from Edward's and stared at Carlisle for a few seconds before replying "_Like I've been punched in the mouth and shot twice, my shoulder hurts, my head feels groggy, but other than that never better_" I didn't mean to be so sarcastic but well what else did he expect me to say. I heard Edward chuckle. I ignored him.

Carlisle smiled "_I'm sorry Bella, but I had to ask. Is the pain manageable or do you need another dose?_"

"_It hurts like hell but I'm used to pain._" Carlisle looked concerned and Edward seemed to take a deep breath.

"I _want to go home Carlisle, I'm not a fan of hospital's._" I complained. I heard Edward sigh. I wanted to throw something at him, why was he still here. Not that I wanted him to go. I felt angry with myself then, why should I care if he stay's or not. I frowned.

"_I'm not sure Bella, you lost a lot of blood and you are still clearly in a lot of pain. You would need someone to look after you for a few days, perhaps a week or so. Just in case._" Carlisle explained.

I huffed at that. "_I don't intend to be a burden to anyone besides there is no one who can help. Most of my friends are Male. Emily would but she's pregnant and needs her rest. Jake and Charlie have work, not to mention it would be embarrassing. How would they help me if I needed a shower hmm? Besides I don't want anyone fussing round me, Please Carlisle let me go home I can manage._" I pleaded.

"_Bella you need someone to keep an eye on you at least for a few day's, I'm sorry but I can't let you go home alone._" Carlisle repeated.

I took a deep breath and fumed "I _am going home Carlisle, sorry but I can and will discharge myself. You can't stop me._" I couldn't believe I had said he couldn't stop me. He could but then I would scream the place down.

"_Bella please be reasonable..._" Carlisle's concerned voice made me feel a bit guilty for being so rude to him.

"_I'm sorry to be like this to you Carlisle but I... I need to go home._" I pleaded with my eyes.

"_I'll look after her Carlisle._" Edwards' soft voice interrupted.

What was he playing at! Why was he doing this? I was confused so I refused to look at either of them.

"_No. I'm grateful Edward for you help, but don't concern yourself, I can look after myself... I've lived through worse than this._" I heard him breathe in sharply, I looked up when I heard the door close. Carlisle had left. I looked at Edward, and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't help but react, beautiful as he was his eyes held mine as his voice whispered across the room.

"_Bella... I..._" He sighed, he looked sad. As I took him in I noticed he was paler than ever and had dark circles under his eyes, he looked... ill.

"_You know Carlisle is right, you need someone to keep an eye on you._" He continued his eyes intense. "_You have a choice Bella. You stay here until Carlisle discharges you or... you let me look after you. Which is it to be?_" His eyes never left mine.

"_Edward_" I sighed, I changed the subject.

"_It was you, the shadow, you who tackled my burglar, the Vase, you cleaned the blood up and bandaged my hand. You carried me to the bed. The flowers... it was you, wasn't it?_" I looked down as I imagined him carrying me to my bed and felt the blush creep across my face.

"_Yes... Alice, she had no visions of you for three years, she felt like you had disappeared. Carlisle checked up on you from time to time, just to make sure. A week or so ago Alice called me in a panic, said she saw you in danger._" Edward came closer, sitting in the chair by my bedside, still his eyes did not leave mine.

"_I was looking in town for you, I saw you run across the street in the rain, then you turned round... I hid from you. I was afraid you would see me. I thought it would be better for you if you didn't know I was there. I waited for you to come out of the shop. I followed you home._"

Edward looked down for a brief moment before he continued, confessing how he watched over me since he returned right up to the night I was shot.

"_When you knew you had an intruder why didn't you run back out and call the..._"

I decided to put him right.

"_I'm a Police officer Edward, I'm trained to tackle intruders._" I interrupted angrily. "_If I wasn't competent I would not have qualified_" I wanted him to know I could take care of myself, that I wasn't so helpless anymore.

"_Bella, you could be the strongest creature in the world, I would still want you to run rather than risk getting hurt." he sighed "I couldn't let you tackle him, he didn't seem the type to try and kill you but I couldn't risk that. So I ran in front of you as fast as I dared and ran up the stairs. I threw him to the ground as you ran up the stairs. I realised he was unconscious so I opened the window to make you think I had gone then slipped out the room and hid in your closet_." Edward sighed.

"_I heard you call the Police and it was then I realised you were the police. I was a little shocked to say the least. It took all the willpower I had not to talk to you find out why on earth you would choose such a dangerous profession."_ He looked at me questioningly, I said nothing and waited for him to continue.

"_I waited as your colleagues left. I was intrigued as to why you didn't tell them that there was a second intruder. I listened as you checked through house. I heard you clearing up the glass, I heard you swear and realised you had hurt yourself. I ran out to help you and found you passed out on the floor. I carried you to the bathroom and cleaned you hand, I bandaged it up and came to realise your blood though still tempting didn't affect me so much anymore_" Edward swallowed and ran his hand through his messy bronze hair.

"_As I carried you to your bed... you murmured my name. In that moment I knew I would not, could not leave you. You seemed to need me._" Edward looked sad again.

"_I... I knew the second intruder was a vampire. I thought it more likely to be Carlisle, I thought perhaps he was in the area and had caught my scent. I doubted it was you, why would you come back, you didn't want me, why would you care? But still I knew it was a possibility._" I felt confused, but afraid that he would leave again. I was a fool of course he would leave again.

"_Bella... when I left... the things I said..._" Edward began.

"_Edward please don't. I can't..._" I started not sure of what to say, but knowing I couldn't talk about this yet. "_I'm going home... if that means you inviting yourself along to play nurse then fine. But I am going home. Today._"

Edward looked at me for minute then ran his hands through his hair again

"_I heard your conversation with Jacob Black. He... You love him. I won't get in the way while I'm around to look after you. Perhaps though... we could at least...be friends?_" His eyes seemed pained but sincere.

"_Friends._" I nodded, then I thought I should put him straight about Jake.

"_I love Jake yes... but he is my best friend Edward, a brother to me. I think he feels differently but that is all there is between us and all there will ever be._" I realised how tired I felt, but as much as I wanted to sleep I wanted to go home more.

"_Edward please just take me home._"

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Sorry if there are lot's of mistakes, had to write this one in a rush.

please review, I love to hear your opinions and thoughts.

Aea


	13. Chapter 13

**I own absolutley nothing (sniff)... all the wonderful Characters belong to S Meyer. Please Review **

**Chapter Thirteen: Carer**

Edward smiled at me and did as I asked. Carlisle called Charlie and told him I was coming home. I knew he would not be happy that Edward was bringing me home and it was a conversation I was not looking forward to.

A couple of hours later Edward pushed me out of the hospital in a wheelchair , much to my irritation he had insisted I shouldn't walk and in the end I gave up arguing. Edward lifted me from the chair, and before I could protest, gently put me in the passenger seat. All this was done while a large grin played on his lips. After pulling my seat belt round me and clicking it in place, Edward walked at human speed round to the drivers' side and climbed in. We drove back home along with strict instructions from Carlisle that I was to rest.

When we arrived back at my house though it was clear that rest would have to wait. I could see Charlie's cruiser, Sam's Truck and a bright yellow Porsch parked outside. I felt my heartbeat get quicker, I was a little nervous. Edward heard my heartbeat quicken and threw my a worried look.

"_Bella are you ok_?"

"_ask me after Charlie see's you_" I grinned wickedly at him, serves him right for interfering if Charlie shoots him. I knew it wouldn't really harm him, but I half hoped it would sting a bit if Charlie did.

"_Come on, let's get in_." I sighed.

Edward carried me to the house and set me gently down once we were inside the door. I could see Charlie, Sam and Emily sitting, waiting in the living room while Esme, Emmett and Alice waited in the kitchen. I took a deep breath, walked stiffly into my living room and waited for it to begin.

Charlie started "_Bella you have no idea... I thought I would lose you._" Charlie moved to hug me to him gently. I felt him stiffen and he let go of me.

"_Bella please tell me what the hell they are doing here?_" Charlie's face was flushed with anger as he stared at Edward.

"_Dad... please. I know you're upset and angry but Edward saved my life, and I'm grateful to him and to Carlisle, Whatever happened in the past, well it is... irrelevant... for now._" I said quietly.

"IRRELEVANT_!!... Bella I watched you become a zombie, you were a shell for months. You're still not healed... I don't care if he saved you it's the very least he could_ _do after..._" Charlie ranted.

"_I Don't Want HIM anywhere near you._" Charlie was standing now, his fist's curled into balls at his side.

"_Dad calm down please_" I pleaded as I felt my face flush bright red. I didn't want to look at Edward but I found myself looking anyway. I was shocked, His pale face was white and his eyes had a tortured look in them. I looked away quickly and took a deep breath.

"_Dad, Edward is going to stay for a few days he kindly offered to look after me while I recover..._ " I paused at the look on Charlie's face. I began to worry about his blood pressure.

"It _makes sense Dad, you are too busy at work and I didn't want to stay in the hospital_" I looked Charlie in the eyes. His face was now purple. I tried again.

"_You know Emily can't help, and it would be embarrassing for you or Jake to help me if I needed a shower or a ... bathroom moment._" Charlie raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at Edward.

".._Alice will help I'm sure_"

"_Of course I will_" I heard Alice call from my kitchen.

"Fine _Bells... hey it's your life. You know I would have looked after you. But since when do you listen to me huh_" Charlie muttered.

"_Dad..._"

Charlie ignored me and turned to face Edward "_If you hurt her again bloodsucker, I swear I'll find a way to tear you apart._" I flinched at his words, too afraid now to look at Edwards face.

"_If my brother ever hurts Bella again, I give you my word Charlie, _I _will tear him apart myself._" Alice's voice came from the door where she now stood, and though she spoke to Charlie her eyes fixed on mine. Neither Alice nor Edward showed any surprise that Charlie knew what they were.

I looked back to Charlie as he grunted in anger, he kissed my cheek quickly then he stomped out of the house muttering about bloodsuckers and women. I doubted he would call for a few days.

Emily spoke to me then, I turned to her ignoring the pain as she promised that she'd call me soon. She hugged me very gently before she left, murmuring softy that I should rest. Sam briefly patted my right shoulder told me to be careful, smiled at me, glared at Edward and left.

Edward had stayed close to me since we arrived, now his hands gently guided me to the sofa. I felt a jolt of electricity through my body at his touch, I groaned silently, why did I still have to be so attracted to him. A small distant voice in the back of my head also reminded me that I was still very much in love with him.

"S_it down Bella you need to rest_" his voice whispered in my ear. I shivered and my heart stuttered, he chuckled and sat next to me.

Emmett and Esme came in once Sam and Emily had gone, they both hugged me gently and I laughed out loud in surprise when it was Emmett's turn. He grinned at me and said he'd see me soon and to keep Edward in line then he and Esme left. Alice stayed a bit longer, she apologised over and over for not speaking to me since Edward left. I had to shout at her to shut up in the end. After a tense silence we talked for the next couple of hours, she wanted to know everything she missed. I told her everything it felt good to share it with her but I felt uneasy, Edward had gone outside but I knew he could hear every word. Alice left late on in the afternoon, when the clouds covered the sun, saying she'd be back again as soon as I needed her. I was now alone with Edward.

I got up stiffly from the sofa and made my way towards the kitchen. Edward appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"_Bella what are you doing?_" Edward asked his arms winding gently around my waist. I felt my heart beat race again at his touch.

"_I was going to make myself something to eat_" I replied trying to carry on walking. I was not an incapable and I didn't want to spend the next few days sitting on the sofa.

"_I will make you whatever you want but you are staying on the sofa_" Edward gently picked me up and lay me back on the sofa. My heart slowly calmed down as his arms left me. But I was getting irritated.

Edward sat watching me as I ate the Chicken and pasta dish he had made me.

"_Mmm_ _Edward this is delicious... I didn't know you could cook... thanks._" I finished the whole plate and went to get up, Edward beat me to it and whisked the plate out to the kitchen. I immediately got up after he left the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. Edward was by my side before I had finished getting up. I sucked in a breath as a jolt of pain shot down my left side.

"_Bella, are you ok? Do you need more painkillers?_" concern was evident in his voice, it confused me even more.

"_No, thank you, I'm ok, I just need to go the bathroom_" Edward nodded and picked me up, carrying me up the stairs and setting me down outside the bathroom without meeting my eyes. He shuffled his feet and looked embarrassed,

"_um do you... need a hand... I could call Alice she could be here in a few minutes?_" He looked at me as I laughed at him.

"_It's ok._" I laughed some more, "_thanks, but I can manage._" I moved into the bathroom, an idea popped into my head. This would teach him, I turned stiffly back to him.

"_Though I will need to shower later, I might need a hand or two then._" I kept my face straight as his jawed dropped and he started to stutter.

"_I... I... erm well... I_" I cut him off by smiling at him as I closed the bathroom door. I heard him walk at human speed down the stairs. I started to laugh silently so he could not hear. I realised I could have some fun winding him up. I wondered what he was doing, my guess was he was phoning Alice in a panic. I carried on giggling to myself.


	14. Chapter 14

**I own nothing, its all S Meyers.**

**Chapter Fourteen: Loving Her (Edwards POV)**

"_Alice? What the hell do I do?_" I hissed down the phone. Alice my perpetually exuberant sister was laughing uncontrollably on the other end of the phone. Laughing at me. It had been so long since I had heard her tinkling laugh, it made me smile. Then I remembered why she was laughing.

"_Alice... please_" I moaned.

"_Hang on Edward_" I groaned as I heard Alice repeating to my family the words Bella had just said.

"_Alice!_" I growled down the phone, I could hear Emmett's laughter bouncing of the walls.

"_What do I do?_" I pleaded.

"_Sorry Edward, I'm not sure but Bella is shy. I think she might be winding you up._" Alice giggled again.

"_Do you have two hands to spare Edward?_" with that Alice was laughing again, she was enjoying my discomfort, I knew I had earned that. I put the phone down, I needed a plan and well two could play at that game, and I could see how far she would be prepared to go to wind me up.

As I waited for the sound of the toilet flushing, I thought about Bella. The past three years had nearly destroyed me, living without my life was an intense torture. I could not fathom how I had remained in exile. It was only the knowledge that she was safer away from me that had ensured my absence from her life. But she hadn't been safer. I knew Alice had kept an eye on her from time to time but she hadn't watched her all the time. I had found out about Victoria far too late, but it seemed the wolves had taken care of her, something I should have done. Discovering that my Bella had put her life in the hands of the immature wolf pack frightened me, but they had protected Bella when I failed to. I was more grateful to them than they would ever know and no matter how much they hated my kind if I could ever repay that debt I would gladly do so.

I'd spent months convincing myself to stay away. I saw less and less of my family, Alice had fewer and fewer visions of Bella which in turn gave her fewer excuses to call me. Alice missed Bella more than anyone else in my family and though it was barely a thousandth of the pain I felt when away from Bella, it still hurt her. Alice had tried to reason with me after every vision she had of Bella, each time she became more desperate and more angry. I had been very cruel to Alice when I left Bella. I had told her to stay away from Bella, to stop her interfering. I had said a lot of things to cause me regret, for which I don't think Alice will forgive for a very long time.

When Alice had the vision of Bella in trouble, my world crashed around me and I felt a panic tearing at my insides. The thought of her not existing in this world was more painful than anything I have ever felt. I had gotten to Forks as fast as I could, but she wasn't there anymore. I had to listen to Charlie's thoughts for almost two days before I discovered where she lived. Those two day's were beyond torture, I had considered confronting Charlie and demanding to know where she was.

I tracked her down easily enough once I knew where to start. The first time I had laid eyes on her in three years, to the day, she was running across the main street in Seattle to get out of the rain. I stopped dead and stared at her. She was more beautiful than ever, her hair was longer and the rain made it look so dark it could have been black. Against her hair her skin was the purest ivory, her full lips like soft pink rose petals.

I had ached to hold her in my arms and kiss those lips. I could not turn away from her but then she turned and her eyes locked on mine. I ran, I had thought it was better for her if I stayed away. So I watched from the shadows as she shrugged her shoulders and disappeared in to the shop. I had followed her around through the thoughts of the other shoppers. She appeared to get more and more annoyed as her shopping trip progressed, I had laughed at her expression. I hadn't laughed for three years. It felt so good like a warm liquid flowing through my cold stone body.

I knew I had to stay close enough to protect her but I was afraid to let her know I was there, afraid I might hurt her if I got to close. I kept telling myself this as I followed her home. I had smiled when I saw her house, it was just so Bella. The small house would not have been out of place in a Jane Austin novel. The front garden, though very small, was filled with shrubs and Roses. I knew in spring it would be green and lush, the roses would bring a burst of colour. I moved around to her back garden which was much bigger, the garden stopped against the edge of a wooded area.

I still wasn't sure that was a good thing. You never knew what was hiding in the woods. I chuckled darkly at that as I watched her move about the house from the tree line at the bottom of her garden. The temptation to knock on her door was almost impossible to resist. It was all I could do not to crash through her door and take her in my arms once more and beg her to take me back. I wonder what her reaction would have been.

I had listened to her telephone call with her friend Jake. I heard the words La Push and knew he was a member of the Wolfpack. Bella spoke warmly almost tenderly to him and immediately I felt jealous of him. Bella cared for him, I wondered if she loved him and hated the pain that accompanied the thought. After all I had left her, had intended for her to move on and have the future I could not give her. I suddenly hated him and the easy way he could talk to her. I wanted to talk to her, to see her smile tenderly at me, to hear warmth and love in her voice as she spoke to me. I didn't deserve her then, I still don't now. But I knew I had lost the fight to stay away. Whatever the consequences, I knew that I would stay with her now, I could never leave her again unless she sent me away. Though I would never truly leave, I would watch over her and keep her safe, she just wouldn't know it.

I sighed as I remembered the night she had an intruder and the phone call she made. I couldn't believe Bella was a policewoman, and a DI so young. I found myself shaking with silent laughter at the thought of Bella being in the police. The thought turned dark very quickly, her job had dangers and Bella was a magnet for danger. What was she thinking? I was almost angry with her for her choice of career. But I was here now, I will protect her.

I sighed and tried not to think about the night she was attacked, the night I went hunting, foolishly I had assumed Bella would be with her friends, I should have known better. I had come so close to losing her.

I still felt the horror of watching her body thrown backwards as the bullets hit her. I felt sick as the images flashed through my head. By the time I had controlled my rage, Bella had fought of the other attacker somehow and was aiming her gun at him. I hadn't wanted her to shoot him, to become a killer, she was too good for that. But shoot him she did, because I couldn't control my rage long enough to ensure both her attackers were dead.

Though the one that shot her, paid with his life, I would have liked him to have suffered a bit first. The first attacker was lucky. The things he had wanted to do to Bella... the rage made me almost incoherant, I wanted to rip him apart, and I knew where he was... No it was best not to think of it, even now I knew I would not be able to contain my rage if I came across him. I wanted to sneak into his prison hospital room and end his life.

Luckily my phone rang then, disturbing my angry thoughts, it was Alice.

"Alice? Are you going to laugh at me again?" I demanded the anger still evident in my voice. I cursed silently.

"_I had a vision of you._" Alice sounded distant. I tried to hear her thoughts but she was blocking me.

"_Be careful with her Edward she's in more pain than she's letting on, Oh and Edward remember be a gentleman._" Alice hung up. I'd upset her again, damn I really needed to talk this out with her. But why did she always have to be so cryptic. I listened for her thoughts again but she was singing along to Jon Bon Jovi and translating the words into Russian as she sang. I really did need to make it up to her.

I heard movement in the bathroom and heard the toilet flush and I forgot about Alice as I ran lightly back up the stairs. Bella opened the door and smiled up at me, I could drown in her deep chocolate eyes. Her face was slightly flushed I wondered if like Alice had said the pain was worse than she was letting on.

"_Are you ok Bella, your cheeks are a bit flushed, is your shoulder getting worse?_" I asked concerned that I might have missed something, I wondered if I should call Carlisle.

"_No I'm ok, I will take some more painkillers though, I'm due another dose..._" Bella smiled again. I loved her smile, it shined on me like the warm rays of the sun. She melted me, made me more human. Her voice interupted my thoughts

"... _then I'm going to get a shower._" with that Bella headed to her bedroom a smug smile playing on her lips and though her shoulders remained stiff her hips swayed hypnotically in front of me. I fought the urge to grab her hips and pull her back into me. A new hunger was stirring in me.

I knew then that Alice was right, Bella was teasing me. I chuckled quietly as I decided to play along with her and see how far she would go to embarrass me.

I ran downstairs, got her painkillers, a glass of water and ran back up to her bedroom. I was standing in her bedroom doorway before she had even finished getting her pj's out of the closet. She turned around and I offered her the painkillers and glass of water. Bella swallowed the tablets with a grimace and set the glass down by her bed. She picked up her pj's and headed towards the bathroom brushing past me and smiling up at me through her lashes.

The touch of her skin grazing against mine stunned me. I felt a burning tingle where her skin touched mine. I felt on fire. It was then that I decided she did need some assistance in the shower, so I followed her in.

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**Please be warned the next Chapter contains a lemon.**

**Please review**

Aea


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing all characters belong to S Meyer. There is a lemon in this chapter so don't say I didn't warn you ;-). Hope you all like it. Please read and review**

Also a message to 'B's other half. Don't read over her shoulder it's annoying. Right on with the story.

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** Chapter Fifteen: A new hunger (Bella POV)**

Uh oh. What would I do now? He actually followed me in. I had been convinced that he would be far to embarrassed and would leave me to get a shower in peace. I wondered that he hadn't persuaded Alice to come over.

"_Edward?_" I asked turning stiffly to face him in the small bathroom. I found myself face to face with him, I felt dazed as I fought to remember what I was going to say.

"_Yes Bella._" Edward breathed his eyes darker than before.

"_Erm is Alice busy... it's just that...I don't want you to be embarrassed or uncomfortable keeping an eye out while I shower. Could Alice not come round?_" I didn't want him to know that I was nervous at the thought of him watching me shower. Although I was more excited than nervous. I was such a fool, like he would be remotely interested, besides Edward was old fashioned he would not look unless I fell. Good thing that I had a better sense of balance these days thanks to Jake. But then again I could slip accidentally on purpose. He would have to catch me and I would be naked in his arms. I felt me cheeks burn at the thought of being naked in his arms, a warm tingle made its way through my body. God I had to control myself!

"_Alice is out hunting with Esme and Rosalie. So it's Carlisle, or me._" Edward spoke soft and low then smiled crookedly waiting for my answer. My heart skipped a beat. Then I grinned widely at him.

"_What no Emmett or Jasper... I suppose I could call Jake..._" I teased. God what was I doing, why he would be bothered about Jake or anyone else helping me?

"_No._" Edward's face darkened, he looked annoyed, angry

"_Oh well you will have to do then._" I gave a dramatic sigh and turned on the shower. I removed my jumper slowly, the pain jolted through me as I had to move my shoulder. I hissed with the pain.

"_Bella you could get a shower tomorrow if it's that painful._" Again he sounded concerned. But despite the pain I was determined to embarrass him.

"_I need a shower Edward. It will help me feel better._" I tried to inject some authority in my voice the way I would when I managed my team.

Edward looked at me for a few seconds then without saying a word he began undoing the buttons on my blouse. His eyes never left mine. He gently slid the blouse off my shoulders. Still his eyes didn't leave mine. I began to undo the zip on my trousers but Edwards hands took over. I shivered slightly as his hands brushed against mine.

My heart began to race as he slid my trousers down over my hips. I stepped unsteadily out of my trousers. Edwards's arms steadied me and I felt a jolt of electricity run through me as his arms moved against my bare waist. I held my breath as his fingers unhooked my bra, slid the straps over my shoulders and dropped it on to the floor. I felt the blush burn my cheeks and knew he could hear my heart stuttering, but I kept eye contact with him daring him to continue.

His hands then slowly slid my panties down over my hips until they dropped to the floor. I stood there lost in his eyes and completely naked. I wanted him in a way I have never felt before. I wanted him to touch me anywhere, everywhere.

"_Bella..._" Edward murmured. His hand came up to cup my cheek and his thumb moved softly back and forth. So slowly that he barely seemed to move, his head moved closer to mine, until his cold hard lips brushed against mine. A tiny moan escaped my parted lips and my heart almost stopped beating, then his lips moved against mine and suddenly our kiss became more urgent. My hands crept up his chest and linked around his neck, I ignored the sting of pain as my shoulder throbbed from the sudden movement.

What was I doing! This wasn't what I intended, but it felt so good, so right. I wanted him to do more than kiss me. I pressed closer to him and heard a soft groan escape his lips.

"_Edward..._" I whispered as his lips moved softly down my neck then back to my lips. The world had begun to spin as heat swept through my body. He pulled slowly away and his eyes found mine again.

I watched fascinated as Edward undid his shirt and quickly removed his clothes. He was perfect like a marble statue. He lifted me up gently, carried me to the shower and set me down underneath the warm water before pulling me inot his arms. We both stood for a moment just looking into each other's eyes, I felt the air around me thicken. It felt as though an electric currant surrounded us, drawing us closer together.

My body tingled, the hot water soothed my shoulder while his cold skin against mine set me on fire.

Edward gently and slowly washed my hair, massaging my head with surprisingly soft movements. He then washed my body, lathering strawberry and vanilla soap and massaging it down my legs and down my arms. He then let his hands graze fleetingly across my breasts while his eyes darkened some more. I gasped at the sensation it created between my legs. His eyes moved to my lips as my tongue darted across them.

"_Bella…_ " Edward whispered as he pulled me against him. I could feel his arousal pressed into my stomach and I couldn't help the moan that escaped from my throat. The ache between my legs was almost unbearable, I needed him.

"_so beautiful…_ " Edward murmured as his lips found mine again. His kiss was passionate and full of his need, I responded showing him how much I needed him.

His fingers left a tinglingly hot trail on my skin as they moved slowly down my stomach and when they reached the small triangle of hair I bit my lip and groaned. Edward let out a soft growl and slid his fingers back and forth across my Clitoris. My hips pushed against him, encouraging him. He slipped one finger into me and I let out another moan of pleasure.

"_Oh god Bella, do you know what you do to me… so hot… so wet… I.._" Edward groaned and slipped in another finger, moving them in and out of me slowly.

I moaned again my lips against his shoulder, I let my tongue flick out to taste his skin. He moaned and began to move his fingers faster. I kissed and licked from one shoulder across to the other. God he tasted divine, like honey. I needed more. I kissed up his throat and at the same time moved my right hand down his chest to his stomach and down. My hand wound around his arousal and I felt him shudder then his lips found mine.

His kiss was urgent and his fingers began to work even faster, his thumb sliding back and forth across my clitoris. I felt my body begin to burn, it felt so good. My hand moved up and down his arousal matching the speed of his fingers in me. My breath became uneven "Edward… oh please… I need you" I whispered. He almost growled and his other hand moved from my back to my breast where it teased an massaged. I was going to explode.

"_Bella… oh… my Bella_" Edward moaned, as his arousal got even harder, he was thrusting into my hand.

I exploded then as my climax burned through every nerve ending "_Edward.._" I cried out.

Edward came as I said his name his arousal pumped into my hand as he moaned "_Bella… I… oh!_".

We held each other as our bodies recovered, the hot water adding to my sleepiness. I sighed content as my head rested on his chest

"_Bella?_"

"_Yes?_"

"_I'm sorry… did I hurt your shoulder, was I too rough?_" Edward asked softly.

"_I'm fine, you were gentle… why are you sorry?_" I tensed as I spoke the last four words. Why was he apologising? Did he think what we had just done was a mistake? I felt rejection flood through me and tears stung my eyes.

"Bella look at me…please" Edward begged.

I looked up at him and held my breath waiting for him to tell me this was a mistake or that he wasn't really that interested.

"_Bella, you have had some serious injuries, I couldn't bear it if I made them hurt even more because I can't control myself. That is why I am sorry._" Edward kissed my forehead tenderly.

My heart stuttered and he chuckled softly. "Edward?...what did you mean you can't control yourself?". I asked wondering if my blood was tempting him too much.

"_Bella you are so beautiful, your body so tempting that I can't resist the urge to be intimate with you…_" Edward looked intensly at me and I felt his arousal again.

My breath caught and felt the ache return between my legs. I looked up at him through my lashes and bit my lip. Edwards lips came crashing down less than a second later, this time he gently lifted my into his arms and turned the shower off.

He carried me through to my bedroom and laid me on the bed. Edward lay down next to me and ran his fingers teasingly between my legs before putting them in his mouth and sucking them.

"_you taste so amazing_" and with that he moved in a flash so that his head was between my legs. He ran his tongue across my clitoris and my hips bucked against him. He licked and sucked at the moist skin before moving up my body to take a nipple into his mouth. He sucked and teased my breasts until I thought I could take no more. Edwards lips once again found mine this time kissing me tenderly and slowly.

"_Bella?..._"

"_Please Edward I need you_"

Edward positioned himself so his arousal was gently touching my entrance then he kissed me and whispered in my ear "_I'll make it quick, I'm sorry for hurting you, my love_".

I gasped as he thrust into me quickly, a sharp pain stilled my body. Edward stayed still inside me while he gently kissed me and murmured " _I'm sorry, I'm sorry_". The pain subsided and the ache returned, still Edward did not move, so I lifted my hips to his and felt good when I heard his moan of pleasure.

Edward started to move slowly in and out, kissing every part of me he could. I could feel my orgasm start to build and then I felt Edwards fingers teasing my clitoris. I needed more friction now, so I moved my hips faster. Edward caught on, his thrusts got harder and faster and suddenly I exploded, I could feel myself clamp around Edwards arousal and I cried out his name.

Edward came just after, he growled and half collapsed onto me. His lips dropped little kisses up my neck and on my lips then he rested his forehead against mine. I was floating in heaven. If it could only stay that way forever. If only he loved me as I loved him.

"_Bella…" _

"_Edward…"_

"_I Love you"_

I fell back to earth with a bang. "_What?_!" I gasped.

_

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_

Thank you for reading, I am not sure how to take it from here. So... how do you think Bella should react to Edwards declaration of love, How do you want her to react?

Let me know what you think.

__

I won't be updating now until Tuesday or wednesday as I am away this weekend.

Aea


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful S Meyer.**

**Chapter Sixteen: Am I Dreaming?**

_"Bella..."_

_"Edward..."_

_" I love you..."_

"_Wha... What_?" My mouth hung open as my heart almost stopped, I was dreaming surely. Oh please let this be real. But he had left me, he said he didn't want me. Oh god I was dreaming, I felt the tears sting my eyes and I wrapped my arms around myself as I felt the pain rip my heart open.

"_You left... You... didn't... want me...I..._" I began to sob. "_I'm dreaming... my... nightmare_." I whispered dejectedly.

"_Bella please I... I'm so sorry don't cry. You're not dreaming I promise, I didn't want to leave you but I thought... God I thought you would be better off without me. That you would be safer without me. But I can't... I just can't stay away from you. I. Love. You. With every inch of my cold damn heart. You bring me to life... My Bella_." Edward whispered pleading with his eyes. I was afraid to believe him, afraid he would leave again.

"_You might leave... again. I can't... I can't lose you, not again. I love you Edward, I always loved you. I have never stopped. You're the air I breathe, without you I have been dead_." I tried to look at him through my tears.

"_oh Bella_" his arms encircled me, holding me to him.

"_I will not leave you, unless you want me to leave and order me away. Even then I would never truly leave, my heart, my soul, wherever it may be, belongs with you, I belong with you_." Edward's hand gently tilted my face towards his and his lips touched mine, kissing me so very softly.

"_I never want you to leave, I can't be without you. You are all I want._" I whispered, I knew I wasn't dreaming but I was still afraid to believe him completely.

There was silence for a few minutes as Edward held me tightly, both of us lost in our thoughts. I knew I would be old one day and he would stay eternally young. I sighed, there was only one way for us. He had to change me, but did he truly want me. Forever.

"_Bella... are you ok, I'm sorry I was holding you too tight. Have I hurt your shoulder_?" Edward had let go as soon as I had sighed, his eyes concerned as he looked over me.

"_I'm ok, you weren't holding me too tightly... We need to talk about us, how 'us' would work, if you are going to stay_."

"_I will stay. We will be whatever you want us to be. If you want us to just be friends, or if you want more. I just need to be in your life... please let me._"

"_I need to think a bit first.._." Edwards face fell and he looked pained. "_Edward don't, I want you to stay, I just need to figure out exactly how, just give me a little time_."

"_take all the time you need, I meant it Bella, I will be whatever you need me to be. I love you. I know you want to think about it. I know you have little reason to trust my words, but I swear on my soul on everything I have. I love you_." Edward's eyes studied the floor before slowly lifting back to mine.

We looked at one another for a few seconds then my stomach growled. Edward chuckled as my cheeks burned and the atmosphere lightened a little.

"_I'll make you something to eat, what do you feel like_?"

"_mm I could really go for a Chinese, there's a number of a really good place in town. I think they deliver_."

"_I'll go out and get one... I'll call Alice to keep you company_." Edward seemed suddenly wary as he looked at me. I knew why, I was half afraid he wouldn't come back. But if this, if we were going to work at all then I would have to trust him.

"_OK Edward, tell Alice to hurry..._" the doorbell went then and Edward laughed.

"_It's Alice, she saw a vision of her coming here, so here she is._" Edward frowned. "_she also wants to know if you are decent_."

I looked down and realised we were both naked, my whole body seemed to burn in embarrassment. I couldn't help but giggle, I looked at Edward who was staring darkly at me. I bit my lip feeling a familiar ache begin.

"_Bella... my love do you have any idea what it does to me when you bit your lip and look at me like that. Please don't be offended but if you don't put some clothes on I will have to send Alice away and..._ " Edward groaned and ran his hand through his hair, I chuckled again. I liked knowing I affected him the way he affected me.

"_Edward! Bella!... if you are not dressed in sixty seconds I will come in anyway_!" Alice yelled up the stairs.

Edward jumped up and was dressed in less than five seconds. He then helped me stand and supported me as I stiffly pulled up my pyjama bottoms. Edward quickly but very gently pulled my t-shirt on, just as an irritated Alice stomped through the door.

"_Edward out, go do the hunter gatherer thing and fetch Bella some food_." Alice stared hard at Edward for a couple of seconds then turned back to me. Edward threw a smile my way and left.

"_Bella are you ok? I saw you trying to decide something. You can talk to me you know_." Alice watched me expectantly.

I sighed. "_Alice I want to be with Edward forever, I just need to decide when I want to be changed and how to... say goodbye to my friends... to Charlie. That's if he will change me_." I felt the tears threatening again.

"_Bella... I see you as one of us. But I still see Charlie with us. I don't know how. If Edward won't change you Carlilse will_." Alice's eyes seemed glazed as she spoke. I knew she was looking for my future.

"_I can give all that up if it means I have Edward forever. I just... I'll never be_..."

"_never be what Bella_?"

"_I will never be a mother, never have a child. It's so hard to give up, I was thinking of maybe having a child first. Something to leave behind for Charlie, a part of me_." I kept my eyes to the floor, I felt selfish wanting a child, a child I couldn't be a mother to. It was wrong I knew it, but as soon as I had said it out loud it became to hard to resist. I wanted a child but I was afraid of Edwards reaction.

Alice looked at me, stunned.

"_If that is what you want... you have to talk to Edward about this. Er who would be the father_?" Alice asked softly.

"_I don't know, I was thinking of asking Jake_?" I tried to look confidently at Alice but it was no good when she return an angry look back at me.

"_you want the father of your child to be a... a... DOG! Are you insane? Do you... argh_!" Alice glared at me then got up an moved at human speed to the door.

"_He's back, I better be going. Bella it might be better if you don't mention Jake as a prospective father, Edward tends to have slightly possessive tendencies_." Alice's face softened then as she continued to stare at me.

"_I would love to be an aunt though_." She smiled, her features soft again, before turning and disappearing out the room. A second or two later Edward came through the door with a bag emmitting truly wonderful smells and a plate. Edward was looking at me puzzled and worried. I wondered what Alice had said to him on her way out. Edward moved towards the bed and laid the contents of the bag out.

"_Edward_?"

"_Yes Bella_?"

"_there is enough food here to feed three people, but thank you for feeding me._" I smiled shyly at him. He smiled lovingly back and my heart fluttered. His smile got wider.

"_I love it when your heart does that_." He moved closer until his outstretched hand reached my chest, he then placed his hand over my heart and sighed before moving back to start piling food on my plate. I moaned at the loss of contact, he chuckled at me.

We chatted lightly for the next hour while I ate as much as I could. When I had eaten my fill Edward took the leftovers down to the kitchen. I took a deep breath and readied myself for the conversation I knew I had to have with Edward. My heart began to race.

"_Bella are you ok? Your heart is racing._" Edward was at my side looking concerned.

I smiled gently and shook my head. I struggled to find the words to say, I didn't want him to be angry with me, didn't want him to leave.

"_Bella please, I'm going mad here, talk to me, tell me whats wrong_." Edward pleaded his voice frustrated and worried.

"_ok... I want to be with you forever. I want you to change me_."

"_Bella._" Edward began.

"_Let me finish Edward I need to tell you everything._" Edward nodded his face still held a trace of concern, almost fear.

"_Changing me is not up for negotiation. I understand what I'd be giving up but it's my choice. I know it Could be many years before I could see my friends, before I could see Charlie. I know there is a chance I may never see them again. I might be too dangerous. But..._" I took a long deep breath.

"_There is something I cannot give up, one thing I need to do while I am still human, can only do as a human_." Edward sat stone still, his eyes fixed intensely on mine.

"_I would give you anything Bella, would help you do anything. Tell me what you need_." He whispered so softly I only just heard him.

"_I want to have a baby, to be a mother. Before I change_."

I looked right at him as I said it and waited for his reaction. Edward was frozen his eyes shifted from mine to my window. Well at least he wasn't angry. Yet. His eyes stayed focused on the window but I could read the emotions on his face. Hurt. Pensive, then a brief tender smile tugged at his lips. He turned to face me.

"_Bella I can't give you a child but I will help you and support you, you and your child. Would you... erm consider... artificial insemination? I'm sorry... I just can't... the idea of another man..._" He seemed unsure of what to say, but I understood. I would feel the same.

"_I was thinking along those lines... I couldn't be intimate with another man Edward, not even to have a baby. I wanted to start as soon as possible if you are ok with that_." I felt I was rushing him. It was such a big step but it felt right. I looked at him nervously.

"_Bella... you should wait a bit, you need to fully recover before attempting to become pregnant. I wish I could give a child so much Bella_." with that Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Our kiss quickly deepened an became urgent.

"_Bella... my Love_?" Edward groaned against my mouth. I smiled, loving the way he needed me as much as I needed him.

"_hmmm_" I began to kiss down his neck, he tasted so heavenly. I giggled as I had the urge to bite him. I felt him shiver as I continued kissing down his chest unbuttoning the shirt he was now wearing as I went.

"_Bella I need.._." I kissed him silent while my hands undid his jeans and slid inside his underwear. I looked straight into his now black eyes and gave him a crooked smile while i bit my lip. He growled and his hands wound into my hair. I stroked his arousal running my finger up and down his length. He almost choked and his eyes widened as he watched tug his jeans and boxies down his thighs. Still looking into his eyes I slowly lowered my head towards his groin. I let my tongue flick out accross the head of his arousal and groaned as I tasted him.

"_oh god Bella... please_" he was begging and it made me ache for him even more. I very slowly lower my mouth over him while lightly darting my tongue back and forth. He threw his head back and lifted his hips, gently pushing into my mouth. As he lowered his hips I sucked on him trying to hold onto him. He growled again and thrust into mouth less gently than before. I felt a tingling heat between my legs fueling the aching need I had for him to be inside me there. I moaned and bobbed my head up and down sucking and licking his arousal.

"_oh Bella, oh god Bella_!" Edward moaned loudly as his arousal pulsed and throbbed. Hot thick liquid filled my mouth on his next thrust, I swallowed it down as his eyes found mine once more. i ran my tongue accross my lips and slowly kissed back up his body.

"_Bella your amazing I.._." I silenced him again with a kiss, I wasn't finished. I kissed him urgently and felt his arousal harder than ever pressing between my legs. His hands pushed my pjama bottoms down and his fingers moved to the wet folds between my thighs. He stroked and teased at the skin there. I moaned and pressed myself against his fingers.

"_Edward, I need you_" I moaned again begging for release. his hands moved to my breasts caressing them and teasing the buds with his thumbs. I moved my hand to his arousal and stroked up and down then I hovered over him before lowering myself onto him. I felt him fill me then I moved, riding him slowly at first then I lost control and moved quicker. I moaned his name over and over as I felt my need intensify. Edward moaned out my name I moved hard against him and my orgasm crashed over me. I cried out his name as his hands gripped tightly on my hips. I felt him come as he cried out my name and I slumped on his chest. Exhausted and satisfied.

"_wow_" I breathed.

"_wow_" Edward agreed.

I sighed again and smiled before falling asleep safely snuggled in his arms, wrapped in my duvet.


	17. Chapter 17

**I own nothing, nothing whatsoever. Unfortunately Edward and his Bella belong to S Meyer. I just like to mess about with them. Please review**

**Chapter Seventeen: O Baby**

I woke at some point in the night, still wrapped up in Edwards arms. A sharp pain throbbed in my shoulder but half of me rebelled against moving despite the pain. I gave up trying to ignore the throb in my shoulder and sleepily moved away from Edward across the bed.

"_Bella my love are you ok? do you need something?" _Edwards velvety voice whispered through the half light.

"_Mmm am ok I just need the bathroom, s'more pain killer's and m'bed" _I mumbled back not wanting to wake up too much. I heard Edward move off the bed.

Edwards arms gently wound around me and lifted me easily off the ground. He put me down outside the bathroom and smiled at me, amused. He then went downstairs so I went into the bathroom. When I was done I opened the door and suddenly he was stood in front of me. My heart raced and he chuckled at me for jumping.

"_I'm sorry Bella I didn't mean to startle you."_ He didn't look sorry and his chuckling didn't sound sorry.

"_yeah right, stupid vampire._" I grumbled, he chuckled again and picked me up before setting me gently on the bed. I noticed my bottle of pain killer's and a glass of water on the bedside table. I moved to the edge of the bed and reached for them. I grimaced as I swallowed and saw Edwards look of concern as he lay back down on the bed. I felt a wave of love crash over me. It was easy to see on his face that he cared, I couldn't doubt he loved me any longer. Though I still worried he might leave again for some apparently noble reason.

I sighed and stiffly moved back across the bed into his waiting arms. Edward wrapped the duvet back around me and gently cradled me as my eyes grew heavy. I fell back asleep smiling. The nightmares hadn't come that night.

I woke up again to light creeping through a chink in the curtains. I shifted in the duvet I was wrapped in and was jolted wide awake by a sharp pain in my shoulder. I realised I needed another dose of pain killer's as I hissed in pain.

"_Bella love? your pain killer's are still on the table do you want another dose. I can call Carlilse if it's worse_." Edward had already let go of me and was standing the other side of me holding out my tablets in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

I took the tablets and decided a hot bath would be a good idea. Edward insisted on running me a bath and once he had helped me in went downstairs to make me breakfast. He returned a few miutes later with a stack of hot buttered toast a bowl of cereal and a milky coffee.

I found myself in the same situation exactly a two weeks later. I was submerged in the soothing hot water of the bath Edward had just run me. Edward was down stairs making my breakfast, he had done that every morning. In fact he had made all my meals and kept on top of my housework. He hadn't let me lift a finger at all. It made me a little uncomfortable to be waited on but with Edward I had no choice.

During the past two weeks Alice and Esme had visited throughout the day, Alice dressed me like a doll with a new outfit each day. Esme would chat away to me while Alice did my hair and Edward would keep me fed and watered. Sometimes Edward would watch Alice do my hair in fascination other times he would sit quietly next to me and watch the television while holding my hand. He never lost an opportunity to touch me. In the evenings I had a steady stream of visitors. Jake had visited twice both times moaning how bad the house smelt while glaring at Edward. The second visit I lost my temper and told him if he couldn't be polite to my guests he would be banned from coming round. He ignored them after that and we chatted easily for an hour before he had to go. During the nights I would curl up in my duvet safe in Edwards arms. We made love most nights, despire Edward constantly worrying that he might hurt me.

Charlie had visited the day before, it had been awkward at first. Charlie had been polite and almost talkative when it was just Me and Alice but as soon as Edward returned with some grocery shopping he became irritable and sullen. Edward had stayed out of my living room for the duration of Charlie's visit. I had tried to persuede Charlie to be a bit nicer to Edward but Charlie had snoted at me in disgust.

"He's dangerous, He has hurt you, He failed to protect you from a danger HE placed you in and... I don't like him. I'm sorry Bella but I can't forgive him for hurting you, at least... not yet."

I sighed and looked down before meeting Charlie's eyes again. Alice left the room as though she knew we needed a private moment.

"Dad, He left because he wanted to protect me from himself, he left believing he was giving me the chance at a normal life. It nearly destroyed him, from what Alice has told me, he was more catatonic than I was. I at least had a routine to stick to. He would just sit for days not moving, not talking... he didn't hunt for weeks apart. He hurt just as much as I did Dad." I looked at the floor again as tears stung my eyes.

"Bella, what can he give you. You can't have a normal life with him. He will never age... I need to know... are you... are you thinking of... changing? Will you become one of them?" Charlie's eyes burned into mine but I couldn't figure out the expression on his face.

"Would you hate me if I was?"

"Oh Bella!... no I could never hate you whatever you may become. You have decided then?" I nodded my answer unable to speak, the tears spilt over my lashes. Charlie moved to sit next to me and pulled me into a hug.

"If you are certain this is what you want... then I will not stand in your way. But I don't want you to leave. I understand how new... vampires are very dangerous. But I want to visit you. Jake and the boy's have agreed if this is what you choose they will accept it and disregard the treay they have with the Cullens. They will also protect me when I want to visit. Will you let me... you are all I have." Charlie begged.

"Of course you can visit me, I'm certain the Cullens and the pack between them can make sure I don't loose control. But there is something I plan to do first, well as soon as my body has healed. Dad I want to have a baby before I change, Edward and the Cullens will support me."

Charlie's mouth hung open. There was a minute or two of awkward silence then he spoke. "I alway's hoped you would make me a grandpa someday, this isn't quite how I imagined it but hey. Who will be the er father? Will Edward..."

"No Edward can't, vampires can't. We were going to use a donor. I don't know much yet."

Charlie grunted then slowly got up saying he had to get going. I knew he was going to confirm my choice to the pack. I knew Jacob would be angry.

Infact Charlie had been gone just over an hour when Jacob called, Charlie must have gone all the way to La Push with his sirens on.

"Isabella Marie Swan, your crazy! Why do you want to be a monster? be one of those damn leeches" he spat venomously down the phone. "AND you want a baby, how can you be a mother if your a newborn vampire? AND WHO THE HELL IS GONNA FATHER THIS BABY!"

"Jaco..." Edward had wrenched the phone from my grasp and was nowthreatening Jacob, his face furious.

"." Edward spat "This. Is. Bella's. Choice. AND if you ever shout at her like that again I swear I will tear you limb. From. Limb. You understand me?"

I stared at Edward as he hung up on Jake. "Edward really there was no need to... I mean I can handle Jake." I whispered tentatively, his eyes were black withe anger and I worried he might actually start something with Jake if I didn't distract him. I sighed thinking how I was supposed to distract an angry vampire. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled slowly before looking straight into my eyes.

"Bella, I won't let anyone shout at you or speak to you the way he did. Whether you can handle it or not." Edwards face relaxed abit when he saw my worry. "Jacob will calm down eventually and I'm sure he will call before long."

I had gone up to bed a shortly after with a headache. Edward had cradled me again and again the nightmares stayed away.

So there I was lying in a hot bath waiting for my breakfast when I felt it. A slight pinching in my stomach followed by a very faint flutter. I had never felt anything like it before. I lifted my hips out of the water and studied my stomach. I didn't look any different. Perhaps my period was due. I counted back on my fingers. No that couldn't be right. I counted back again. I had never been late on my period, but according to my dates I was now almost two weeks late. Oh. My. God.

No.

I can't be.

Vampire's can't...

Can they?

I was, I knew I was, some deep rooted intuition told me that I was pregnant. Tears srang to my eyes as I ran a tentitive hand across my unchanged stomach. I felt a wave of tenderness flow through me when I thought of the tiny life now budding inside me. It was more than I could of hoped for. Edwards baby. I had a vision then of Edward holding a tiny bundle in his arms. The bundle had messy strands of Bronze hair, just like it's daddy.

But how do I tell Edward.

Worry pricked at my mind. Half Human, half vampire. Would the baby survive? Would Edward be happy? Should I tell him yet?

I dropped my stomach back into the soothing hot water, my hand still lingering over it protectively, as Edward came up the stairs.

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I love you guy's to pieces sooo Please please please review. Tell me what you think, should Bella have a boy or a girl?. Twins?. Triplet's? Hell Octuplet's even? Should she tell Edward yet or try to keep it a secret?

If you review Edward will send you a kiss! and I will try to update a bit faster. If I get enough reviews I will try to update the next chapter by Tuesday.

Aea


	18. Chapter 18

**As usual I own nothing everything belongs to S Meyer. **

**I apologise in advance if it's a little messy and long. I tend to write in a hurry these days. So little time and so many great stories to read. Thank you to all that have reviewed so far, please keep them coming I really appreciate your opinions. **

**Chapter Eighteen: Patience & Timing**

Edward came into the bathroom with a tray laden with food, as usual he had made me far too much, but today I felt hungry. I smiled at my little secret and then proceeded to eat my way through the bowl of cornflakes, the apple and the stack of tost which I layered with butter and strawberry jam. Edward watched me eat as always, it seemed to fascinate him, I didn't undersand why. He stayed silent while I ate which was not unusual for him except for the strange look on his face as he observed me. When I had eaten my fill he took the tray down stairs without saying a word.

I wondered if he could tell, maybe I looked different after all his eyesight was a lot better than mine. He would be the first to notice something different about me considering the amount of time he spends just watching me. I debated again whether or not to tell him I was pregnant yet, I decided for the time being I would not say anything unless he brought up the subject. I was a terrible liar so I knew I would have to answer any of his questions truthfully. Edward came back up the stairs.

He sat on the side of the bath and cocked his head at me, mildly puzzled.

"_Bella?_"

"_Yes Edward_." Strangely enough my heart didn't begin to race like it normally did when I was trying to hide something. I felt calm.

"_Your kind of glowing are you ok?"_

"_I am a bit hot actually now that you mention it, perhaps I should get out of the bath or put some cold in_." I replied keeping my voice calm and relaxed.

"_You... erm_." He cleared his throat seeming embarrased. "_Please don't be offended but... you smell different, or rather there is a new edge to your scent that wasn't there before_." I raised my eyebrows at him trying to conceal my shock at how quickly he noticed something different.

"_It's not a bad thing_!" He added hastily. "_It's nice, you normally smell floral like freesia's and lillies, now I can smell a hint of pine. I like it but I don't know why it's changed_"

"_Could it be because I was hurt, perhaps its just an airfreshner_." I laughed lightly trying to steer the conversation elswhere.

"_Mmm I don't think so, maybe I will ask Carlisle sometime_."

"_Speaking of Carlisle, I think I'm due to see him soon for a check up_." I quickly changed the subject, Edward didn't seem to notice.

"_I'll go call him, do you want to get out the bath now or after I have spoken with Carlisle_?"

"_Er I'll get out now and get dressed while your on the phone._" Edward gently wound one arm underneath my legs and the other wound round my waist. He lifted me from the water and set me down carefully and wrapped a towel around me. I giggled when I saw his hirt was wet through where my body had been pressed against his. Edward grinned at me, kissed my forehead and pulled his phone from his pocket.

I turned to my wardrobe and pulled out a comfy pair of sweats and a baggy T-shirt, deciding it couldn't hurt to cover up a little. Edward was talking to fast for me to catch more than the odd word so I gave up trying to listen. I moved to my bedside table and picked up my book. I headed downstairs but halfway down I suddenly felt lightheaded and dizzy. I shut my eyes and clung to the handrail trying to breathe deeply, hoping the sensation would pass.

A cold strong arm wound around me, lifting me up. I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on breathing.

"_Bella my love, what's wrong. Are you ok_?" Edward asked his voice slightly panicked. I didn't trust myself to answer as I felt the urge to vomit. I shook my head very slightly and very slowly. I felt Edward lower me to the sofa then I heard his voice murmuring. I slowly opened my eyes and saw he was once again on his phone. I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea hit me. I was going to be sick. I launched myself of the sofa and dived into the kitchen, just making it to the sink in time.

"_Bella_!" Edwards hands gripped my shoulders as I threw up again. His hand swept across my forehead pulling my hair out of my face.

"_Thankyou_." I managed to mutter before throwing up again. I heard Edward flip his phone open, again he spoke to fast for me to keep up. I kept my head down for a few minutes as the feeling of nausea dissapated then I took a deep breath and straightened up.

"_Bella... my love, Carlisle is on his way to check you over, do you feel any better_?" Edward still seemed panicked.

I took a deep breath and turned slowly away from the sink, the world shifted an I knew I was going to pass out. I tried taking deep breaths but my vision blurred and I felt as though my legs had given way.

"_Bella_!"

I woke up on the sofa Edward watching me intently while carlisle was listening checking my pulse and blood pressure. I groaned still feeling horrible.

"_Bella, How are you feeling? do you think you might be sick again_?" Carlisle asked softly.

"_No... I don't think so, but I feel a bit weak. Carlisle... er can I speak to you alone_?" I avoided Edwards eyes as I muttered my request.

"_Of course, Edward why don't you go hunting you were due to go tonight anyway. I can call Alice once I've made sure Bella is ok_." Carlisle spoke with soft authority, I looked up in time to see Edwards puzzled expression become irritated. He looked at me intensly for a few seconds then huffed and got up.

"_I'll see you tomorrow morning Bella, Love. Carlisle_." He nodded to Carlisle then left the house.

"_Has he gone, can he hear you_?" I asked Carlisle, I wanted to be sure before saying anything to Edward.

"_He's gone Bella, Emmett challenged him to a race, Edward couldn't resist. It's been so long Bella since we saw him like this. So full of life. You do that Bella, you make him live_." Carlisle smiled happily.

I sighed. "_Carlisle? I know what's wrong with me_." I held my breath as I looked at him.

Carlisle smiled "_So do I Bella_." I gasped.

"_Bella really, I am a Doctor you know_!" He laughed. " _Your blood pressure is a little low, You've had dizzy spells, been sick, I would hazard a guess that your period is late too_."

I nodded shyly.

"_Then I'd say there is a good chance you are pregnant Bella. In fact if you will forgive me I know you are pregnant, your scent has changed, along with your usual scent is the scent of Pine. I don't know if you realise but Edward's scent smells of Pine_." He sighed then and a crease formed on his perfect forehead. It didn't look right for Carlisle to be frowning.

"_Bella, I won't lie. I don't know what this pregnancy will do to you, I don't know what the baby will be like. You can't be more than two weeks gone but your syptoms and the slight swelling round your abdomen is closer to six maybe eight weeks. This won't be a normal pregnancy. I didn't even know this was possible. But I promise you Bella I will look after you. But you need to be prepared this could... this could be dangerous for you_. " Carlisle still had a trace of worry marring his angelic features but his voice was warm and determind.

"_I think I should do a scan as soon as possible. I also think you need to tell Edward and your Father. I can stay while you do if you want_." Carlisle was in Doctor mode now.

"_I will tell Edward first, but I think it would be best if we were alone. I will call Charlie after the scan, we might know more by then._" I added hopefully, it quickly gave way to nervousness, Carlsile was right I didn't know what was growing in my womb, or if I was strong enough to give it life, but I loved it whatever it was. Already I loved it. I worried how Edward would take it, whether his overprotective streak would come between us. Would he consider it a monster. I winced at the hurt that caused me. I wanted him to love our baby.

"_I'll call him when I get home, he should've had sufficient time to hunt by then. I'll call Alice now and she can sit with you until Edward returns_."

Carlisle called Alice's phone just as she arrived at the door. I laughed. Alice simply said she had seen she was needed and had come. Carlisle smiled fondly at his adopted daughter and left promising to do a scan the following morning. He had explained that he would buy the equipment and do the scan at the Cullen's house in Forks. It was a safer option than a public hospital.

I settled on the sofa relieved that the wave of sickness had disappeared for the time being. Alice kept smiling at me and in the end I couldn't take it any longer.

"_Alice_!" I half yelled at her.

"_Bella_!" Alice mimicked.

"_Alice... what are you smiling like that for, spit it out_." I was feeling irritated again.

"_I'm excited and puzzled. I can see you choosing baby clothes, I can see me decorating a nursery with Esme. I know you want a baby but I didn't expect it would happen this fast_."

"_It was a surprise to me Alice, but I have to speak with Edward before I say another word_." I laughed at the expression on Alice's face. She looked like I had stolen candy from a baby.

"_When I have spoken to him Alice you can bring everyone over. Then I will tell everyone my news_."

Alice squealed in delight then suddenly got up. "_He's back, so I'll go while you have your 'talk', but I will be back." _She skipped out the room humming to herself.

Edward walked in a second later his eyes now golden. He came straight over to me and softly kissed my lips.

"_Bella my love how do you feel?_" Edward asked as he sat down next to me.

I took a deep breath. "_I'm fine, I feel much better but it might happen again. In fact it might be a frequent occurance for the next week or so or maybe longer I'm not sure_." I could feel my heart racing. I didn't know what to say. I wished I had taken up Carlisle's offer to stay.

"_Bella please tell me what is wrong I can hear you heart racing, why might you be ill again? Did Carlsile find out whats wrong?_" He sounded frustrated.

"_Edward. I'm... well that is to say we... are well... I'm pregnant_."

"_I... pregnant... you... my... but...impossible... Vampire... human... I..._" Edward stuttered to a stop, incoherent with shock, his eyes wide and his mouth gaped open. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be worried. I decided on worried when he sank to his knees pinching the bridge of his nose his eyes squeezed shut.

"_Edward_?" I whispered tentatively.

"_Oh Bella, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't know this would happen. What did Carlisle say? Is he going to remove it_?"

"_Remove it_?" I went numb. He said remove it. It. He called our baby It. He thought it was a monster. I felt tears fill my eyes and anger coursed through my veins.

"_Bella, I Am A Vampire. What the hell else do you think that thing inside you will be. God knows what it will do to your fragile body._" He had his head in his hands again.

"_That thing_!" I repeated. I was burning with anger. He called our baby Thing.

"_Bella_..."

"_One Edward, I am keeping _IT_. Two _IT_ is a baby... OUR baby!. THREE if you don't get the fuck out of my house right now I swear I'll kill you!_." I yelled at him finally losing it. Of course it was then I noticed Edwards family standing in the hallway looking very shocked. I burned with shame knowing they had heard every word Edward and I had said. They heard him reject our baby. I sucked in a shaking breath as my tears spilled hot on my cheeks. Then I was sobbing hysterically as three sets of strong cold arms came gently round me.

Esme whispered soothing words in my ear but I didn't recognise them. Rose was glaring Icily at Edward. Alice was looking between us her features torn. Emmett and Jasper registered matching shocked expressions. Carlisle was trying to reason with Edward.

"_Edward, son please calm down. Your just upseting her more. It's not good for her to be upset like this_." Carlisle reasoned.

"_Not good for her. Not good for her Carlisle!. That THING is not 'good' for her, it could kill her. I am telling you Carlisle. Get. Rid. Of. It. I will not lose her_." Edwards face was white than normal, his eyes black with unvented fury.

"_No! you can't. Please Carlisle, I want this baby! You can't take it from me_!" I was beyond hysterical. He wanted to kill our baby.

"_Bella you must calm down, for your sake and the baby's. I won't do anything against you will you have my word._" Carlisle looked at Edward as he said the last sentence. Edward walked out nearly taking the front door of it's hinges. My knees gave way half out of relief and half in despair.

"_Emmett, could you please go after Edward. Jasper could you fix the front door. Alice call Chief Swan. We need a family meeting. Esme will you come with me, I want to nip home and get the Ultrsound kit. A scan might give us some answers. Rose look after Bella_."

I was guided to the sofa. Rose gently pulled me against her and softy whispered to me.

"_It will be ok. Edward will come round eventually, he's just a bit melodramatic at times_."

"_What if he persuedes Carlisle to kill my baby. I can't fight them off_." I whispered fear eating away at me.

"_Carlisle won't go back on his word. I don't know about Edward, he is unpredictable but I don't think he would want to hurt you in anyway. If it makes you feel better I can stay with you. I won't let anyone try to hurt you or your baby_."

"_Why? why would _you _do that for _me_ Rosalie_?

"_Because you made the same decision I would have made. Because I believe this is a baby not a monster. And... well the one thing I wanted as a human was a baby. It's a choice I will never have. This way I will be an Aunt... if you will let me_." Rosalie spoke honestly I could see that much, I didn't miss the wistful way she said she would be an aunt. I decided to make a pact with the one Cullen that had alway's terrified me.

"_I would like you to stay. If they do try to_..." I couldn't finish but Rose understood.

"_If... they do try anything. They will have to come through me. Emmett won't stand against me, nor will he allow anyone to attack me. Esme and Alice would not even consider going against your wishes whether they agreed with you or not. Carlisle and Jasper won't go against them. So the only worry is Edward and possibly the wolf pack if they find out but we can handle them_." Rose sounded confident as she smiled softly at me. Something changed between us then. She had become my protector and I was more grateful than she could know.

I mulled things over in my head now that I was calming. I had to believe Edward would come round in the end, with a little patience from me.

So I sat on the sofa in Rose's arms and waited.

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**Thank you for reading but don't forget... Review please please please. I'll love you forever and so will Edward and Bella. **

**I still want to hear your opinions about the baby or babies?**

**Love you all.**

**Aea**

**X**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer; I own nothing as usual.

I hope your enjoying the story so far, let me know what you think. I think the next chapter may be the last one.

**Chapter Nineteen: Faith**

I didn't wait long. I heard a car screech to a halt, swiftly followed by another. The door to my living room flew open with such a force I though it would come of the hinges. My heart hammered painfully against my ribs as I cowered into Rose's arms.

"_Isabella! what did he do to you... I swear I'll kill him_." Jacob raged his face a mask of black fury as he continued towards me. In an instant Rose was stood defensively infront of me with Esme and Alice at her side.

"_Jacob please, You have no cause to be so angry. You are wrong whatever you think Edward has done_". I sighed desparingly. "_You are both wrong_". I whispered.

"_Nothing? He has infected you with his... that thing growing in you. That creature. What the hell do you think it is a real baby! Jesus Christ Bella are you that niave!_" Jacob ranted.

"_Back off Dog_". Rosalie hissed and she took a step forward just as Emmett arrived back with Edward.

All Hell broke loose in that instant. Jake launched himself at Edward, somehow they ended up going through the kitchen out the back door and off into the woods. I screamed panic gripping me as I tried to follow. I could hear the cracking of wood and the sound of boulders crashing against one another. My heart stopped when I heard the howling of more members of the wolf pack. Rose's arms held me prisoner as Emmett and Carlisle flew past me. Jasper appeared from nowhere and darted after them. Alice followed.

The awful sounds of them fighting became more distant, I stopped my useless struggle against Rose's arms and gave in to my sobbing. Rose lifted me up and carried me back to the house. She held me gently as my sobs shook my body. My head finally gave in and I felt the world drift.

I heard hushed voices but didn't want to open my eyes. Rose still held me in her arms, I shivered against her cold skin. I felt a blanket tucked around me.

"_I want to know what the hell is inside her. I want to know what it will do to her. I want to know now or I will empty the contents of my gun into his head_". Charlie sounded livid. I groaned and the room went silent.

"_Bella, my love. It's ok I won't hurt you... I just... please tell me your ok_." Edward whispered low and desperate.

I opened my eyes taking in the room as I did. I lay on the sofa propped up in Rose's arms, Edward kneeling next to me his eyes pained smudges of blood stained his beautiful face. I forced my eyes to move away from him. Carlisle sat calmly in the armchair by the fireplace, Esme stood next to him her hand upon his shoulder. In the opposite chair sat Charlie, his head in his hands. Jacob stood glaring at Edward while Sam and Paul held his arms just incase. I sighed and looked back to Edward, it hurt me that he looked so sad.

"_I'm ok Edward, I promise, now that you are back safe._" I turned to Jacob. "_ Jake get a grip. I am fine. This is my decision. And don't you dare attack Edward again or else._" Jake's mouth twitched into a grin.

"_I'm sorry I upset you Bells. I lost my temper. I promise I won't hurt your bloodsucker unless he hurts you. Or you give me permission._" Jake grinned at me before throwing a taunting look at Edward. I sighed.

"_Bella._" Carlisle's soft voice carried across the room, everyone looked towards him.

"_I did an ultrasound while you were passed out. I think it would be wise for everyone here to know the results but that is your choice._"

"_It's ok Carlisle, You may as well tell us all at once." _I breathed deepy trying to control the sudden pounding in my chest.

"_There is a thick membrane around the foetus, that makes it hard to be exact. I have however discovered that the foetus has a heartbeat, It's a little bit faster than a normal human heartbeat but it proves the foetus is not entirely a vampire." _I gave a silent sigh of relief. Carlisle continued.

"_I believe there may be two foetus' in there as the heartbeat seems too irregular for it to belong to one foetus. I managed to take some sample's of the amniotic fluid but couldn't get a sample of blood." _I cringed at the thought of a needle anywhere near my unborn baby, I squeezed Rose's hand and her hand gently stroked my shoulder. Edward's eyes darkened with unspoken anger before he looked away from me.

"_We know that you can only be up to two weeks pregnant but the foetus' developement is closer to nine weeks. If we go on the premise that you are two weeks pregnant then then if the foetus keeps this rate of growth up. I'd say you will be due in about six and a half weeks."_

The room was deathly silent Charlie, Edward, Jake stared at Carlisle in horror. Alice's eyes were distant and Jasper watched her intently. Esme's eyes found mine, a mixture of worry and excitement. Rose hugged me gently.

"_It will be ok, I know it will. Don't worry I will look after you. Just think you will get to see you baby or babies very soon." _Rose's voice was soft and confident, I looked at her, she didn't quite hide her worry in time.

"_Thanks Rose." _I whispered.

The next few weeks flew by and before I knew it I was eight weeks pregnant and according to Carlisle was due anytime. My stomach had expand visably day by day, my skin struggling to keep up was littered in deep purple stretch marks. Carlisle still couldn't say if there was more than one baby, but I was convinced there were two. My diet had changed drastically. I was obsessed with meat, any meat but especially roasted lamb. As my pregnancy progressed I preferred my meat increasingly rarer. For the last week I liked it practically raw. I also had this thing for eggs.

Rose and Edward took it turns to cook for me, I ate every few hours. Alice grew frustrated with not being able to see what would happen and tended to avoid me. Jasper alway's popped by when I started to worry. Emmett and Esme kept me entertained. Carlisle constantly checked up on me.

Charlie had finally come round a week ago and now spent his free time with me. He was worried I would get hurt but he like the others now accepted I wasn't growing a monster. All except Edward. He was certain that I would not survive the birth, that I was too fragile. He blamed himself and some days he wouldn't even look at me. I could only prove him wrong and hope he came round when my babies were born.

I was entirely fed up. My stomach was so huge I could barely walk with the weight of it. Rose or Esme had to help me to the bathroom every couple of hours. If I wasn't eating or sleeping I was in the bathroom. It was starting to get me down and I just wanted them to be born.

I looked around the room feeling a little strange. Charlie and Jake had come to visit and were chatting to one another, Alice and Jasper were no where to be seen. Emmett was watching something on the television. Esme was knitting, had already knitted a few dozen items in varying shades of pink and blue. A fare few were in other colours, apparently that's what grandma's do.

My vision shifted for a second and I felt a sudden, sharpe pain in my stomach and felt the urge to go the bathroom. My eyes felt like they were about to pop as another sharpe pain burned through my abdomen more intense than the last. I couldn't breathe for the pain. String arms wrapped around me as I lurched forward.

"_Carlisle! I think she's in labour!"_ Rose's voice rang out. Edward was at my side in an instant, He looked tortured and frightened.

"_Edward, please... It'll be ok... I know it. If not... you will change me won't you... if it does go wrong...but it won't have a little faith Edward my love." _I gasped again as another wave of pain ran the length of my body. Holy shit they weren't kidding when they said childbirth hurt.

"_I will save you, this is my fault Bella, I can't loose you. I will change you... I promise."_ Edward whispered brokenly in my ear.

Rose carried me to my room where Carlisle had set up all his equipment. I heard Esme and Emmett telling Charlie and Jake to stay with them and let Carlisle do his job.

"_Bella, I'm sorry but you need a ceasarean, the membrane is to hard for you to do this naturally._ " I nodded to him then screamed as pain shot through me, I panted. Oh god this really hurt. I felt a sting in my back and realised Carlisle had put a needle in my back.

The pain faded to a dull ache. I felt something cold run across my abdomen, I smelled the blood and swore when the world started to go fuzzy. I wanted to stay awake while Carlisle delivered my babies. I fought the sensation. I lost.


	20. Chapter 20

**As usul I own nothing it all belongs to S Meyer.**

**I'm sorry this has taken so long I have have struggled to write the last couple of chapters as a new story keeps forcing its way into my head. I will put this story out of its misery in this chapter. Thank you to all of you for reading and big hugs to those who kindly reviewed.**

**I'll shut up now and get to the final chapter.**

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**Chapter Twenty: Where We Belong (EPOV)**

(three years later)

It was hard to believe three years had passed since the day my children were born. I'd come so close to losing everything, now I had all I could ever want. I had my Bella, I would be by her side where I belonged, forever.

When I found out my love was pregnant I lost it. I was so terrified of what might be growing in her womb. Terrified it would kill her and it would be my fault. I had tortured myself for the few weeks she was pregnant with thoughts of losing her. I should have listened to her, to my father, but my fear blinded me to all but my darkest thoughts. I had imagined a monster in place of a child. Imagined a monster with blood red eyes. I imagined it would break my Bella's delicate and fragile body. I had been so wrong.

Again.

Wrong to leave her all those years ago and lucky to return in time to save her from... I stopped at that thought. It still made me burn with anger to remember that night. I had come so close to losing her then. I had been wrong about the pregnancy too. I was fortunate that my love had forgiven me for my behaviour. I should have been there for her, supported her but I panicked and the shock made me numb.

When Bella went into labour, something clicked in my mind, as terrified as I was I had to be strong for her. She had tried to reassure me, so confident it would all turn out right in the end. I promised her then that no matter what I would save her, I would change her.

Bella had to have a cesarean as the membrane in her womb was as hard as a vampires skin. To hard for her human body to push out. By the time Carlisle and I had torn through the membrane Bella had lost a lot of blood. Rose and the others had to stay downstairs in order to resist the bloodlust, Jake and Sam guarded the door just incase. Though I knew they guarded Bella from me aswell but her blood held no desire for me now, the thought that she could not exist if I lost control made me stronger than the pull of her blood.

As soon as we had torn the membrane Bella slipped into unconsciousness. Carlisle's hands moved through Bella's womb and removed my daughter, immediately handing her to me. As Carlisle moved back to Bella I gazed at the pink, warm wriggling form in my arms. She was covered in Blood and amniotic fluid but she was beautiful, her eyes opened briefly and in the second our eyes met my heart almost began to beat. I loved my daughter. I took her in, she had a heartbeat though not a normal human one. She seemed perfectly healthy and relief flooded my veins

Carlisle's voice broke through my thoughts to tell me there was another baby in Bella's womb. I was stunned. As I looked to Carlisle Bella's father forced his way past Jake. Wordlessly he took my daughter from me and moved to Bella's head. I heard him telling Bella he loved her and was so proud of his beautiful granddaughter. Bella remained unconscious as Carlisle handed me our son. I studied him as I had my daughter, though slightly smaller he was the same, not quite human.

Charlie and I silently cradled the new additions to our large family while Carlisle tended to Bella. Once he had sewn her wounds we waited for her to wake. Carlisle had informed us that Bella had lost a lot of blood and her heart was weak from the strain of her pregnancy. I still remembered the fear that shook my body. He told us we would have a little time before Bella would need to be changed.

It turned out that Bella was stronger than I could have hoped as her heart held on for another four days. In that time Bella and I named our children. Our daughter we named Maddison Reneesme Cullen, our son Masen Edward Cullen. Carlisle checked them both and ran tests to check their health and find out more about them. We spent the next few days with our friends and family, Bella knew she might not be able to see them for a while. After all a newborn vampire is very very unpredictable. I knew Bella was desperate to be a mother to our children, it hurt to watch her silent pain.

On the fourth day my Bella's heart began to fail, by some miracle she kept her heart beating while I injected my venom into her veins. She burned for three days. The longest three days of my existence. It was torture to know I could not take her pain away. When she finally awoke she surprised the hell out of us all. Bella was still Bella, except for her blood red eyes. Her control over her thirst was unlike anything we had ever witnessed in a newborn vampire, I think in time she may even rival Carlisle's control. Within hours of waking she could be in the same room as her friends, as our son and daughter.

I had laughed triumphantly when she politely told Jake that he smelled like a wet dog. Jake had sulked for a while after telling her she smelled bad too. Charlie shivered when he first saw Bella's eyes but stood his ground and stayed with us for a few weeks. Bella never once complained of the burn in her throat, infact sometimes it was as though she were still human. Sometimes though she was a vampire through and through. Especially when she out manouvered Jasper and Emmett during a game of baseball and won the girls versus boys game.

Bella fitted in with my family in every way, it felt as though she had always been with me. Emmett and Rose went off on another honeymoon but popped back every few weeks to see the twins. Rose and Bella grew very close, their love for the twins pulled them together.

Jasper and Alice stayed in the family home in Forks with Carlisle and Esme. They came to visit at least once a day. Bella and I built a sweet little cottage right by the La Push border and got frequent visits from the wolf pack and Charlie.

Carlisle continued to monitor the twins and we quickly realised that their development was almost three times as quick as a humans. By the time they were six months old they were closer in development to an eighteen month old. They both had a heartbeat approximately three and a half times the speed of the average human heart, their skin was as hard as my own. Both of them could sleep just like a human. My beautiful Maddison had her mothers chocolate eyes and my bronze hair, she was bigger than her brother. She had barely cried as an infant and as she got older she was quick to smile and very affectionate. She had us all wrapped around her little fingers.

My boy had his mothers hair colour and surprisingly he had green eyes, according to Carlisle they were the exact same shade I had when I was human. My boy was a screamer when he was hungry and he was nearly always hungry. During their first few months we fed them blood, though Masen would also take milk. As they got past the bottle feeding Maddison and Masen enjoyed human food aswell as blood. Maddison had a slight preference for blood. But Masen loved meat cooked or uncooked and tended to eat more human food.

By the time they were one year old they were more like three year olds, they could walk and talk. Carlisle has found more vampire human hybrids and we now know that our children will be fully grown in just a few short years. They will be immortal like Bella and I. Maddison is friendly and affectionate but doesn't talk very often, like me she can read minds, unlike me she can almost read Bella's. Maddison can't exactly read Bella's exact thoughts but she gets a hint of what she's thinking. She can also block me out if she wishes. Masen is a chatter box, into everything. Masen's mind like his mothers is completely silent to me, but he always says what he thinks so I am rarely left guessing. Masen has inherited my musical side and was fascinated by the piano before he could even walk.

So it's three years later and my three year old children are more like eight year olds. Maddison and Masen are too different from human children to attend school, so we teach them at home. Carlisle teaches them science and history. Masen loves his lessons with Carlisle and loves to do experiments with him. Maddison tolerates history but hates science, it is a battle evrytime Carlisle has a lesson for them.

Emmett and Jasper apparently teach sport whenever they are home, but this usually means playing on the X-Box or some kind of board game. Maddison is surprisingly competitive and is a particularly bad loser, Bella says she takes after me. Maddison actually bit Emmett once when he beat her a monopoly. Masen luckily is more laid back.

I teach them Music, Bella teaches them literature. Masen likes to play the piano but he loves his guitar more. Maddison likes to play the piano and enjoys her lessons with me but like Bella she prefers to read. The twins are incredibly close and we often find them in the music room, Masen will play soft melodies on the piano while Maddison reads. If Maddison is upset he will play her favourite songs and if he is upset Maddison will read to him.

Esme teaches them Maths, they both hate it but they adore Esme too much to really complain plus she is surprisingly strict. I don't know how she does it but she manages to get the twins to stay in their seats for two hours solid three days a week.

Alice teaches them art and design, much to Masen's disgust she also tries to 'educate' them in fashion. Maddison of course loves being dressed up and of course Alice always complies. Rose is a second mother to the twins, she also takes them hunting and teaches them to cook! Rose learnt to cook just for them. But she is also their confidante and their friend.

They spend lots of time with their Grandpa Charlie, He takes them fishing and they both love him. They also spend time in La Push with the wolf pack, I still don't feel comfortable when they are around the wolves but usually Bella is there. Bella is the only vampire that has permission to step foot over the border. She is says she is neutral territory. I am still ridiculously overprotective but I can't be any other way when it comes to my family.

* * *

The sun is setting on another day, I watch as my Bella carries our sleeping daughter to her bed, our son is already tucked in his own, they still insist on sharing a room. Silently I move to his side and softly smooth his untamed hair from his eyes, I whisper goodnight to him before moving to my daughters side. I help Bella tuck Maddison in and we both whisper goodnight to her.

Hand in hand Bella and I step out into our garden, silently we sit together on the grass. I can hear my childrens breathing slow and even. I can see my daughters dreams. She'a dreaming of an outfit Alice has promised to get her. I only wish I could see what my son dreams of too. I sigh in contentment and Bella turns her head to me, her expression as content as my own.

I look up at the cloudless sky and gaze at the twinkling stars. I move my eyes to look into Bella's, now pale gold ones, knowing I could just look at her forever. She is the most beautiful creature to ever walk underneath the stars, saying I love her is not enough to explain what she means to me. If I have a soul it is attached to hers and will never leave her side for the rest of time. I am truly and immeasurably happy, Bella and our children complete me.

Life is never boring even when you cannot sleep. We have eternity together and I cannot wait to share it with her.

The End

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**Again thank you soooo much for reading. I hope the ending wasn't too dissapointing. Please please tell me what you think, I would love some reviews on this and I will love you forever if you do.**

**Aea**

** x**


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